Lucy's Library

Ugh

2023-11-25T16:46:09Z

I've been sick for most of this week. Retrospectively, it probably came on around Tuesday afternoon, but by Wednesday evening, I was definitely sick-sick. Full body aches, massive fatigue, congestion, headache, intermittent cough, etc. Flu and Covid tests yesterday were both negative, so it's apparently some other random influenza-like illness. I slept most of Thanksgiving and a decent chunk of yesterday. I am starting to feel better today, I think- the achiness is gone and I managed enough energy for a shower. Still congested and tired, but I don't quite feel like I'm swimming through glue. I am very thankful for grocery delivery this year.

I am missing Family Thanksgiving today, though, which makes me sad. But there's no way I was going to risk giving this bug to my parents or my aunt and uncle. Fortunately The Game (Ohio State vs Michigan) is on Fox, which is a channel I get on the antenna, so I can at least watch. I have my Script Ohio tshirt on, so hopefully that's good luck. I definitely would like to break the two game losing streak in this game.

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miss_lucy21 @ 2023-11-18T18:40:00

2023-11-18T23:54:19Z

So the time change knocked me for a loop. And then I wound up with a multiday tension headache that was so bad that I was sitting up one night at 2:30 am googling "what does it feel like if you have an aneurysm" and "am I having a stroke" and taking Covid tests (none of those was the issue. Once I got some Advil + Tylenol and some actual sleep the headache mostly went away). And I was just busy and tired. So not much has happened on the cleaning front. I had intentions today, and then there was an unintentional 4 hour nap, so that kind of just derailed everything.

I am experimenting with whether some caffeine at lunch makes it more likely that I'll be able to do things like pack my lunch in the evening or do something useful in the afternoon instead of just crashing after work. Results are currently mixed. A couple days, yes, it worked well. A couple days it did not work at all. It's possible that there were other factors on those days. But I probably need to give it a normal week, which won't happen until after Thanksgiving. So we'll keep trying. There's also the what caffeine and how much caffeine, etc. that needs to be worked out and tweaked. I've been drinking V8 Energy in the morning at least most days a week, and that does not have a ton of sugar, etc. It's got slightly less caffeine than a cup of coffee, which is usually a good range for me. So I'm looking for a similar caffeine vehicle for the afternoon.

I probably should eat some dinner. So overrated.

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11.4.23

2023-11-04T20:23:59Z

Spent a chunk of today doing what I call Flitter Cleaning. Mostly it means I do something until I need to sit down and then do something else that catches my eye after a rest. I don't set a timer or make a list, I just do things as they occur to me. It's certainly not the most efficient method of cleaning, but it does mean that something will get done if I'm having the sort of day where my brain will absolutely rebel against any sort of structure. But there are pockets of cleaner spaces now, and some clean laundry, and food in the fridge, so I'll take it.

I was reading back through old entries and there was a point in time where I thought I was an absolute mess but I was seriously miles above the level I'm operating at now. Like, I used to meal prep. Hell, I used to *cook*. That was a depressing revelation.

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Salty Pirates

2023-11-03T15:36:13Z

Over on Tumblr, copperbadge created an annual challenge a few years back called National Clean Your House Month. Kind of like NaNoWriMo for your house. It's otherwise known as NaClYoHo, which got translated into Salty Pirates (NaCl being salt, and YoHo indicating pirates).

The idea of the challenge is that you spend a pre-determined amount of time (tradionally the length of a podcast of one's choice) doing something related to home upkeep, be that cleaning or organizing or whatever. I've attempted it every year with varying degrees of success (because I'm me), but I am avoiding Tumblr right now, so I'm recording it here instead.

My apartment is the usual Pit of Despair and I would very much like it not to be. Or at least be clean enough for me to have maintenance come and change light bulbs and smoke alarm batteries. Doing that requires clear floors and a kitchen and bathroom that are basically cleaned up. So, that's the target.

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miss_lucy21 @ 2021-08-05T19:16:00

2021-08-05T23:43:12Z

So. Still alive. Still at home, mostly. I've been vaccinated since the beginning of May, but still being very cautious.

Work has decided we are going back in September (barring major Delta surge here. It's not great here in Ohio, but it's not nearly as severe as say, Florida). We're going back hybrid, mostly because everyone pitched a major fit when they said we were going back full time. My team was always going to be hybrid, so it didn't matter to us (we'd be permanently remote if my boss had his way. The rest of the IT departments are going to permanent remote, but we are apparently not enough of an IT team to count). However, they are doing three days with everyone in and two days at home, which makes no sense from a distancing standpoint, but does make sense from a business standpoint when the management didn't want to do hybrid to begin with.

They aren't going to mandate vaccines. There was a survey about vaccination statuses, but it was voluntary. I asked if we could find out what the percentage was, although that's probably going to be overstated, given that I suspect that vaccinated folks were overrepresented in the survey. Local rate is about 51%. I also asked if we could find out if there had been any building improvements in terms of ventilation, etc. because it's an open plan office.

So, I have masks and I just bought some 2.5 ppm mask filters, which should help. I am taking a trip to Denver later this month, and I've got a N95 for that (with the elastic around the head loops, not just the ear loops). We're going to a water resort type hotel thing for my nephew's birthday. We planned this before things started getting hairy again, and I'm not entirely sure it's a fantastic idea at this point, but we're all vaccinated (except my nephew who is turning 7, so he can't be yet) so it's probably safe? I guess? My doctor has told me that he's not concerned about me at this point, because I respond well to vaccines and my lung functions are basically normal at this point, so if I did get sick, it would probably not be too bad. We'll see- there's another 2 weeks before we go, so maybe things will improve? Maybe? My risk tolerance is pretty low, so this could be interesting.

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miss_lucy21 @ 2020-03-25T15:12:00

2020-03-25T19:18:31Z

If I make it out of this without becoming agoraphobic, that's going to be something of a miracle. I mean, first of all, I need to make it out of this alive. So far, so good on that front. But I took the trash out and it was literally the first time I have been outside in at least 10 days. I didn't encounter anyone on my walk down the block to the dumpster but I was kind of low-key terrified that I would and then what do I do? (Answer, nod and keep walking, it's *fine*).

And then there's the what do I do about deliveries? Do I like, wipe everything off with Lysol wipes? Do nothing? I have groceries coming this afternoon and I'm still debating how to handle them. Mom suggested wiping things down or repackaging things. I don't remember what I bought (I ordered them on Sunday. This was the first available delivery time) so I don't know how feasible repackaging is.

SO, in case it's not super obvious, the anxiety levels are a bit high over here.

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miss_lucy21 @ 2020-03-17T18:33:00

2020-03-17T23:00:30Z

I am okay? Mostly. I was very freaked out last week when there was a lot of uncertainty about what was going to happen, but now that things are shut down and I'm working from home and I don't need to leave the house, I am calmer.

This weekend was pretty rough, though, since I started running a fever (which I almost never do- my immune system just doesn't respond that way) and coughing, but wasn't congested or anything. That was scary. But, I was breathing fine, so it wasn't an emergency, and so the Health Department said to call my PCP. My PCP's office isn't setting in-person appointments at the moment, so I had to message my doctor, who told me that I'd be considered very low risk at the moment for contracting COVID-19, since I haven't been travelling or in contact with anyone who's sick, as far as I know. So, no testing, because they're only testing people who have been knowingly exposed or are bad enough to be in the hospital. Because there aren't enough tests. Because our federal government is fucking stupid (However, I'm very pleased with my state government's response which was to start shutting it down days before anyone else really was, including places that have many more confirmed cases than we do). Anyway.

I've mostly stopped coughing, fortunately. I'm still slightly feverish (for levels of feverish that correspond with my individual body- it was 99.5 earlier), but I don't feel terrible. Mom figures I might have a really mild case of the flu or some other random virus. I'm still staying put and not seeing anyone for awhile, just in case, but I'm pretty sure I'd be getting worse instead of better so quickly if I had COVID-19.

I don't really have a problem with staying home- I'm a homebody anyway. I don't really like working from home, because I like keeping home life and work life separate, but I really don't do anything on a regular basis that I can't do anywhere that has a working internet connection, so it's not a really big deal. I'm also very good at being my own company- I always have been- and just fine with virtual company. Most of my friends are pocket friends at the moment, anyway. So, I'm in a better place than a lot of other people. I feel much safer here in my apartment by myself. I imagine I will get cabin fever eventually, but I'll deal.

So, that's what we got here in Ohio. Could be worse.

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40

2020-01-31T20:10:56Z

I am 40 today. This amazes me- there's a reason why the line in Hamilton's "My Shot" that goes "I never thought I'd live past twenty" resonates so strongly with me. There were several times where I wasn't sure I'd see twenty. Or thirty. Never mind forty! Honestly, I feel proud of surviving this long.

I'm doing pretty well. Work is, well, work, but I'm doing pretty good at not allowing it to take over my life like my last job. My apartment is mostly clean- the bedroom is a disaster, but the main living space is in good shape. Looks lived in, but I could probably make it company ready in about 20 minutes. Hoping to sort out the bedroom in February. I've been doing little things- went to a collage workshop last weekend with a friend from church, hosted church folks for dinner, just poking my head out of the shell a tiny bit. I still dive back in pretty quickly, but it's the trying that counts. I'm working on some other things- been baking bread, working on Spanish, and I have a stack of Udemy classes to get through. And it turns out I love making collages, so I jumped on a magazine subscription special to get some nature and travel magazines to feed that new interest. Working on paying off debt- the car is paid off and I'm working with a non-profit credit agency to settle the credit card debt. It'll take about 18 months, but then it'll be done. I'd like to be making a bit more money than I currently am, but I am mostly enjoying my job and the five minute commute adds sooooo much to my overall well being that I want to stick it as long as possible. Without the debt, I'd be pretty comfortable, so getting rid of that will help immensely.

So, yes, 40. Let's see what this decade brings.

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Bang Head Here

2019-10-15T16:29:58Z

Got an email from my pharmacy saying my inhaler would be $300 and was I sure about that?

Called the insurance company. Come to find (and this did not seem to be explicitly stated in the sign up information) that my insurance will only pay for one (1) 30 day supply at a pharmacy other than CVS or mail order through them, and then it goes to effectively full price.

I've been using a pharmacy that packages up your meds for individual days, so I don't have to deal with pill boxes, etc. It's been a total game changer in managing my meds and has worked really, really well for me for about three years now.

So now, I get to completely dismantle how I deal with my meds so I can get them at CVS, which is probably my least preferred pharmacy (because I do not trust the insurance mail order system- they have screwed me over before). This adds multiple layers of things I now need to deal with that I have not had to be dealing with because I was using a pharmacy with a model that worked WITH my ADHD instead of against it.

This is not the end of the world- I've managed my meds on my own before and I can do it again. I'm just irritated as all hell that I'm going to have to.

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Ugh.

2019-08-19T15:50:26Z

New insurance, right, because of new job. Okay. Confirmed my allergist and PCP are on insurance, which was the important part. Could not confirm whether PDoc and therapist were on insurance- one thing said yes, one thing said no. So I figure, well, let's see when I have an actual insurance card.

Logged into insurance website. Looked up PDoc. She is covered. For some reason, I look up Therapist, too, even though it's the same practice and same office. Website says Therapist is NOT covered. So now I have to call and see what the deal is. I also have to see if my frigging HSA card from Old Insurance has been unblocked so I can pay these people because they're about to not schedule appointments for me if I don't give them money. It is really an extra layer of annoying when frustrating insurance things happen with my MENTAL HEALTH PROVIDERS, because clearly, that's a good place to have things not go smoothly.

Grr.

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miss_lucy21 @ 2019-04-16T16:31:00

2019-04-16T21:06:18Z

Ah, yes, the annual blood work. Or, let's see if anything actually looks wrong that could be causing the fatigue, etc. Thus far, no, nothing obvious is wrong. I'm just a tired person, apparently.

Good news is almost everything is completely normal. Electrolytes, liver function, iron storage, CBC, white blood cell count, etc. Red blood cell count was slightly high, but I don't think that's an actual problem. Triglycerides are better than the last time, so that's good. Total cholesterol is slightly high, but the ratio of HDL to LDL is fine, so whatever. No vitamin B12 deficiency. Still waiting on the vitamin D.

The glucose was a bit high (by current standards. By previous standards, it's still just fine). We also did an A1C, because it was borderline high the last time, too. I'm not real concerned at this point because 1) it's still just barely high. The top of the range is 99 and it was 108. This is not screaming "major insulin resistance issue". 2) I am under a ridiculous amount of stress at the moment and that, combined with my immune system going into panic mode because some trees are fornicating could be affecting things. And 3) the last several non-fasting tests, including one about 6 months ago, have always been low normal, which probably means the A1C will be normal. And if it's not, well, I'll deal. Not the end of the world. I'll be starting to train for a 4 mile race here shortly anyway (race is in October. I have more than enough time, but I want to see if I can increase speed, which means training the endurance part first), so that will most likely take care of any sort of issue, because my blood sugar has been known to *drop like a stone* when I work out.

So, the fatigue culprits still appear to be depression and chronic pain. Both of which are much more difficult to do something about than a vitamin deficiency, alas.

Edited, 8:15 pm- damn, the lab is fast- the vitamin D and A1C results just popped up in my email.

Vitamin D is at 53.8, which is fine- the low end of optimal is 33 and the high end is 100, so right in the middle-ish, apparently 4000 mg/day is the right place to be.

And! A1C is right in the middle of the range with an average glucose reading of 103. That's the average over the past...two months? Let me go look it up, I don't remember. Three months. What is especially nice about this is I have eaten like complete shit for at least three months, probably more like NINE months and haven't been exercising basically at all. So, if that's what it looks like when I'm living on cereal and candy, I'm in pretty decent shape if I, like, eat some real food and take a walk. Excellent.

[there is nothing wrong, of course, with being diabetic. My dad is diabetic. My grandparents were diabetic. My aunt and my cousin tend towards higher blood sugars. These are all some of my most favorite people. Chances are very high that at some point in my life I will develop type 2 diabetes, given the strong genetic link. I'm trying to postpone that as far as I can because 1) I already have multiple chronic illnesses and I really don't need to deal with another for as long as possible, 2) I absolutely loathe finger-sticks, so testing my blood sugar multiple times a day makes me vaguely queasy, and 3) my disordered eating history (and present, see above about cereal and candy) make diet adjustments very difficult because being "good" tends to kick off my orthorexic/anorexic tendencies and my God, I can do without that right this minute. So I'm going to continue to be pretty happy that we're still kicking the can down the road, so to speak.]

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miss_lucy21 @ 2019-03-13T18:47:00

2019-03-13T22:55:24Z

Apparently, my temp agency offers health insurance and I'm eligible for it. It is a high deductible plan, but I figured I might as well take a look anyway, because it would almost certainly be cheaper premiums than my COBRA coverage.

The deductible is $6000. That is the amount I would have to pay out of pocket before the insurance covered anything at all.

Yeah, no. The COBRA premium is ridiculous, but at least it covers things.

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miss_lucy21 @ 2019-03-10T20:36:00

2019-03-11T00:46:45Z

So, things are progressing. I have a temp job (i.e., income) for the rest of March and probably all of April (my assignment says 60 days, but that's never a guarantee when you're a contractor). It's actually a pretty nice gig- it's right up the street from my apartment (about 8ish minutes driving, but more like 5 if I don't hit the lights on red), I get done at 4, and I 100% do not need to think about any aspect of what I am doing when I am not physically doing it. I don't even have a phone. The work is interesting for the moment, since I'm learning it and probably around about the time it gets less interesting and more tedious, I'll be moving on anyway. Quite honestly, if it weren't for the fact that I'm not quite making enough money to take care of everything that needs taking care of, I would totally not mind doing this sort of thing for a year. It's kind of a relief after six years of constant pressure.

I do have a phone interview for a permanent position on Tuesday. I managed to get them to schedule it during my lunch, so what will happen is I will scoot home about 15 minutes before the interview time, do the interview, which should take about 30 minutes, then scoot back over to work and hopefully be on time (I don't think anyone's actually paying that much attention so long as what I put in the time sheet is correct, so if I'm a touch late, probably no one will care). It is really nice, though, that I can do the phone interview at home, where I can pace around and be comfortable in my surroundings. The job sounds promising (although the commute would be fairly crummy and I am absolutely not moving closer to that side of town because it's really far away from everything else in my life, so no), so we'll see.

So, income is good, and I'm okay. Tired and cranky about the time change- how is it that I get so very screwed up by the time change when I don't have any sense of time anyway is completely beyond me- but I'm okay.

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miss_lucy21 @ 2019-03-04T22:05:00

2019-03-05T03:11:09Z

I picked up a temp job for the next couple of months (and hopefully will have myself a permanent job by the end of that, although this particular position isn't temp to hire). Today was my first day and it went fairly well. It's the sort of tedious, detail oriented, administrative work that I'm really good at if it's the only thing I need to do and that I enjoy, because once I get the process down, I can let my mind more or less wander at will and I don't have to keep redirecting my attention to things. A good break from Old Job, to be honest. Although I do have to remind myself right now to let the people there tell me how their systems actually work and not jump ahead and extrapolate (even if I was right).

But I did, unsurprisingly, get home at 5 and promptly fall asleep for about 4 hours. I suspect that will happen most of this week. And my abs are weirdly sore, probably from sitting in a desk chair all day for the first time in a month.

But, yay, income \o/

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miss_lucy21 @ 2019-02-19T11:07:00

2019-02-19T16:14:17Z

Mini-crisis averted. Dad is loaning me the money to get a Chromebook, which can run Office 365. I do pretty much everything online anyway. So, I will have a laptop in hand (for less than $250) Thursday. Which goes a long way towards making him feel better about tanking my laptop and makes me feel somewhat less anxious.

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miss_lucy21 @ 2019-02-18T23:10:00

2019-02-19T04:34:12Z

I am typing this on my phone, so no real formatting.

I am typing this on my phone because my laptop is a goner. It is an ex-laptop. Probably a large paperweight. Something happened like, Friday, and I spent the majority of the weekend trying to figure out why the hell my computer kept freezing up. Mention this to my dad last night at dinner and he told me to bring it over today, because he was off. Took us something like 6 hours to figure out that the install for Office was fucked. Removing it and reinstalling seemed to fix most of the issues, but Dad thought that running the ChkDisk would be a good idea, in case there was another disk issue we weren't finding.

Well, the computer just stopped at 12% of the check and repair scan. And then stayed there for over an hour. So, we did a hard restart and skipped the scan and let it boot up, whereupon it informed us there was a disk error and it needed to restart. Restarted it and got the Blue Screen of Death. Dad tried to fix it, but nothing was working- it just wouldn't restore.

Dad felt really bad- said he shouldn't have run the ChkDisk. I was like, well, what are you gonna do? Laptop is 5 years old, the display is starting to go, and I knew it was a matter of time. I was just hoping to get another year out of it, since I don't exactly have the money to replace it. The important stuff was backed up to Dropbox and Google photos, and the majority of what I have written in the past couple years is on Google Docs, so I probably didn't lose anything irreplaceable.

Short term plan is the library or going over to Mom and Dad's during the day to use Mom's laptop, which she doesn't need for work. But that's 30 minutes there and back, which makes the library a bit more attractive, since that's 5 minutes away. But, if I go out to the house, there's Netflix and I can watch a couple things I have been wanting to see, so there's that. And there's always my phone, which is fine for some stuff, anyway.

But seriously? I get to deal with this now? It could be worse, but I am still irked and displeased.

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9

2019-02-13T01:50:47Z

I managed to be awake by 8, but not exactly out of bed. But better than yesterday.

Spent a couple hours at the library re-working my Linked In profile and general resume. It's with my brother to look at. Then came home and looked at job boards for another couple hours. I didn't quite make 6 hours- I tried to clean the bathroom and my back and either my obliques or the intercostal muscles between my ribs started spasming and the only way I could get them to stop was to lie down, so I did. But did not fall asleep- read one of my Read Harder Challenge books instead.

I definitely had breakfast, lunch, and dinner today, though \o/

So, call it about 4.5 out of 6? Improvement.

Tomorrow I'm having lunch with my work bestie and I also have therapy. Goal for tomorrow is to write cover letters for three job postings. I detest cover letters, but, well, needs must.

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8

2019-02-12T00:54:23Z

So first day of Unemployment Rules in effect did not go exactly as planned. I was up half the night feeling sick or hungry and not able to tell which and so didn't wake up until 8:30. I also didn't remember to set an alarm, so that was less than helpful. And then I had a monster headache that didn't respond to my usual "wake up with a headache" tricks, so I decided to lay back down around 10:30 and didn't wake back up until about 2. Apparently, I needed more sleep.

So, rule 1 (up and dressed and fed and medicated by 8 am) was a bust.

Rule 2 (have to leave the house) was successful, though. I went to the grocery store because I somehow did not manage to buy bread when I got groceries over the weekend. So now I have three bread options because, well, it's food I'll eat pretty much always.

Rule 3 (Productivity for 6 hours) is half-successful. I did clean up the kitchen. I don't think I'd try cooking anything complex in there yet, but you can walk around without stepping over shopping bags. I also did a fair bit of reading on resume and cover letter tips, so we'll call that research. It wasn't 6 hours of work, but probably maybe 3-ish?

Rule 4 (eat 2 meals a day)- yes? I think? I should eat something else for dinner, but I did eat something. And I remember eating breakfast.

Rule 5 (active every day)- yes, cleaning the kitchen counts for this one

Rule 6 (actual self care)- eh. not really, today.

3ish out of 6 is not ideal, but I did at least manage to redeem the day by going to the grocery and cleaning up the kitchen. I'll take it.

Tomorrow, my plan is to go to the library to work when I get up. Sometimes I think better when I write things on paper, so going to try that for resume achievements, plus all my stuff is in Google Docs, so I can even type stuff up on the computers there. And I have books that need to go back anyway. So, spend a couple hours there, and then come home and work on cleaning the bathroom. That seems like a plan.

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5

2019-02-09T02:00:39Z

Today I actually left the house twice- I went to pick up groceries and then went out again later in search of new gloves and to exchange the shampoo I bought at Whole Foods (I have no idea what was in it, but it made me itchy before I even got out of the shower, so clearly, something in there was no good). It's cold again today- went from 60 F to 25 F in less than 24 hours- so all of this was with a headache and vaguely irritable/unwell feeling.

I also unsubscribed to the email job alerts I had set up because they were just overwhelming me. There were too many emails. So it may mean sifting through the job sites more, but that's more manageable than general panic when I look at my inbox.

So, one week down. I'm doing okay. Starting to get slightly bored, which was part of the point of this week, since it will be easier to be productive next week if I got the decompressing out of my system before then. Jumping right into productivity would have been setting myself up to fail, because I would have just gotten all defiant about it. Because I'm apparently really 8 years old.

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4

2019-02-08T00:35:55Z

I went swimming today (for values of swimming that includes walking/water aerobics- I think I only lasted 100 m doing laps before my shoulder up and quit), and then promptly fell asleep for 5 hours. It's perhaps been awhile. I did get another load of dishes done and I think I put a load of laundry in the washer before I laid down and I should check on that and move it to the dryer before I go to bed.

The electric company sent me an email telling me my electric usage is 109% higher than the same time last year. Yeah, because I'm home most of the day and it's been cold enough to flip the heat on most of the night. Everything in this apartment is electric, which gets expensive, but I don't really have any alternative.

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day 3

2019-02-06T22:52:00Z

I've done basically nothing today. No, well, there was the rigamarole I had to go through to get my password reset so I could access the HR system at Old Job so I could get my W2. And then I did my taxes, since I had finally got my W2. Taxes for me take about 30 minutes at the outside, and most of that is making sure I entered the right numbers from the right forms. Turbo Tax had pity on me and gave me a full discount on the Deluxe edition, since they changed the student loan interest deduction which meant I couldn't file with the free version because I needed a different form. So, I got to file both federal and state taxes for free, which was helpful.

I am getting a refund, but it's about 1/3 of the refund I got last year, which, not so helpful at the moment. Yes, yes, I know, I want a smaller refund, but 1) I was hoping that would help me get by in March if I need to and 2) most of the refund is due to the standard deduction and the student loan interest deduction, so withholding less to get more in my check wouldn't have made much of a difference. Besides, when they decreased the withholding last year, I only got about $15 more per month, which was not exactly a "major tax cut" for this middle class person. Such a surprise /sarcasm.

Oh well. At least I didn't owe. My parents got slammed with the deductions they removed and owe a ridiculous amount of money for two people who are having extra money kept back per check so they don't owe at the end of the year. I think Dad said their adjusted gross income went up over $10K, which he did not realize was going to happen. Unlike many of the people complaining on the Twitter, Dad did not vote for the current president and thought the tax cut was a sham anyway, but it was still a surprise to see the impact on their taxes.

Anyway. Oh, I took the trash out. I got up from a nap and was whining to myself that I didn't want to put on pants and take out the trash but also told myself, "that's nice. Do it anyway", and then I actually did it, which is impressive in some fashion. And that's about it for the useful part of my day.

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miss_lucy21 @ 2019-02-05T15:36:00

2019-02-05T20:39:24Z

I now have a new pillow and air in all of my tires. I need to remember to not put off putting air in my tires when the low pressure light comes on because at least one tire only had half as much pressure as it should have. Oops. All good now, though.

It is very grey and chilly here today, which just makes me sleepy. I think I am going to take a nap and then put 20 minutes of work into the kitchen. But I am two for two on leaving the house each day.

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miss_lucy21 @ 2019-02-04T17:32:00

2019-02-04T22:49:16Z

Today felt more like I had a long weekend than anything else. I did wake up around 10 to 6, wondering why it was dark in my room, though (my alarm clock is a lamp that turns on with the alarm). It did take awhile to get going, which is okay, since this week is Decompression Week, but I did finally clean out the fridge, do some laundry, run the dishwasher, and go to the grocery store.

Tomorrow, I'm planning to go to Ikea, because I have store credit there and really need a new pillow. I'd obviously just keep using it until I had some income again, but I'm starting to wake up sore and I've got the store credit, so might as well use it. I don't remember how much credit it is, and the website doesn't seem to have a function to check, but I think it'll be enough to get a pillow. I also want to put air in my tires, since I didn't do that when I got gas at the grocery store because everyone else in town apparently thought to take advantage of it being 55F to put air in their tires. Given that I was trying to do the same thing, I could hardly blame them. Tomorrow won't be nearly as warm, but it'll be warm enough to be going on with.

(yes, we've had an actual temperature swing of about 60 degrees F and a "feels like" swing of closer to 75 degrees F in the past week. Winter in Central Ohio: guaranteed to make you wonder why you still live here)

But I have birthday cake and new birthday clothes (Mom and I went to the outlet mall yesterday. I got a skirt for $3.50 that was originally about $50, so that was definitely Winning). It could certainly be worse.

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Official Unemployment Rules

2019-02-03T02:03:54Z

So, I am officially unemployed as of 4:30 pm yesterday. I managed to not cry. I make no guarantees about Monday. But, since I don't currently have a new job and since I know myself, there needs to be Rules for this time where I'm not working. Because otherwise, I will either spend all day in bed or I will spend it wandering aimlessly between Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, and AO3. And that will just feed itself into a spiral and I'll probably be unemployed for much longer than I want to be. (well. I'm already going to be unemployed for much longer than I want to be, since it will be a non-zero amount of time. But anyway).

2019 Official Unemployment Rules

I need to be out of bed, fed, medicated, and out of my pajamas by 8 am. I don't have to have actual street clothes on, but I need to not be wearing what I slept in.
I need to leave the house at least once a day (barring unsafe temperatures). Even if it's just to go get the mail. Cannot stay home the entire day.
I need to be productive for at least 6 hours a day on weekdays. Doesn't have to be 6 hours in a row. Productive can be:
- Job hunting (and probably should be)
- Learning SQL
- Working on Excel skills
- Working on languages
- Cleaning the apartment
- etc. Productive is not noodling around on the computer or sleeping.
I need to eat at least two meals a day. A meal = at least two items of food. Sandwich and chips. Pasta and garlic bread. Cereal and fruit. Whatever.
I need to be active every day. Active can be:
- Taking a walk
- Doing the yoga every one of my doctors thinks I should be doing
- PT exercises for my back
- Something else with the collection of therapy bands I have hanging around
- Swimming
- For February, cleaning the apartment because it's a pit and that takes energy
I need to be doing actual self care every day, which includes:
- Meditation
- Prayer
- Making something (doodles, coloring books, knitting, etc. all counts)
- Three Good Things journal

Next week, rules 1 and 3 aren't in effect- I am taking a break to regroup a little. But starting on the 11th, everything is live.

So, that's the plan. The goal is to have some form of income by March, even if it's not entirely enough to live on. I am more or less okay for February.

-

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miss_lucy21 @ 2019-01-09T17:06:00

2019-01-09T22:17:22Z

Somehow, and I have no idea how this could have happened, but I managed to score within normal ranges on the spirometry test today at the allergists, even though I choked through it and the machine basically said I sucked at it. So, that was something at least.

My doctor says nothing's infected and my lungs are totally clear, so no real reason for antibiotics or prednisone, and he's liberal with the antibiotics, particularly in my case, because I've got an immune deficiency (both due to an issue with my immune system and long term steroid use) and chronic sinusitis caused by a congenital sinus defect so there are times when preventative antibiotics are a really good idea. But this is a wait it out sort of thing, so I shall continue to wait it out. At least I can hear today and my ears have mostly stopped popping every time I move my jaw. I still sound absolutely horrible, but I don't actually feel horrible. So that's something, I suppose.

That was better than the dentist's appointment this morning where I endured having my teeth cleaned (it hits so many of my sensory buttons. I hate it) and found that I've cracked another filling and that allowed another cavity in that tooth to form, so I need yet another filling. I think I have about five teeth in my mouth that don't have a filling in them at this point. Gotta do it this month because I won't have dental insurance next month, so I'll be taking a half day in two weeks to let them fix it. Meh.

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