Fic: Thrill of Home (CSI:Miami) 2/3

[miss_lucy21]

Chapter 6

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The world's on fire
It's more than I can handle
Tap into the water, try to bring my share
Try to bring more, more than I can handle
Bring it to the table
Bring what I am able

“World on Fire”, Sarah McLachlan

---

Calleigh sighed as she turned the page to see what else she needed to include in the testimony she was writing. Writing testimony was her least favorite part of the job. She didn’t mind giving it on the stand- Lord knew she had enough practice, what with the proliferation of ballistics evidence in this town. But she hated writing it. Despite being the daughter of a lawyer, she’d never quite captured the cadences of courtroom testimony in her writing.

But it had to be done, and it really should have been done yesterday. The DA hadn’t managed to catch up with her yesterday because she’d been so busy, but her reprieve had ended this morning with a message that her testimony needed to be in the DA’s inbox by the close of business. She’d been tempted to remind him that Miami never closes, but that was Horatio’s line, and besides, it wouldn’t have made any difference. Thankfully, she was nearly done. Finish this last question, and I can go do something more exciting. Like cataloging bullets, she thought.

Scott was puttering around with some training exercises behind her. She’d almost forgotten he was there when she heard him sneeze. “Bless you. Wash your hands,” she said, automatically, not looking up.

“Thanks,” he said, but didn’t move towards the sink.

“Wash your hands,” she said, again, glancing up.

“All right, all right,” he muttered, as he went to do so. “You don’t have to be so anal about the hand washing. Christ.”

She looked at him. “Yes, I do. It’s the single best way to keep from spreading infection.”

“Yeah, so?” he said, shrugging. “It’s not that big of a deal. I don’t have the flu or anything.”

“It is a big deal. It’s a very big deal when you live with someone who’s got a compromised immune system,” she snapped, harshly.

Scott looked at her in surprise and looked like he was about to say something, when something behind her caught his glance. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” he said and turned towards the sink.

Calleigh didn’t look behind her. She had a feeling she knew who was standing there.

“Calleigh,” Horatio said calmly. She winced and turned. “Would you come with me a moment?”

She sighed, stood up and followed Horatio out of the room. They walked up the stairs to his office in silence. She tried not to feel like a small child being escorted to the principal’s office, but it was difficult. He ushered her into the office and indicated a chair as he closed the door behind them. She didn’t even wait for him to sit down before launching into an explanation. “Horatio, I’m sorry, I know, I know, I shouldn’t have snapped at Scotty, but it is important. It’s really important. Tim’s gained two pounds in the three weeks since they got the braces on him and put his jaw into alignment. It’s the first net gain he’s had since September. The doctor said it may be that he’s turned the corner, finally. If he gets sick, those two pounds are gone, just like that, and probably five more with them. And he’s not even 90 days post-op yet, and the first 90 days are the most critical for fighting infection, they said, and he’s still got almost no reserves to fight with, so if he gets sick now, it’ll delay him for weeks, if not months. He’s going to get sick this winter, it’s almost a guarantee, but if I can keep that from happening for just a few more weeks, he’ll be that much stronger when it happens,” she said, in a rush. “He just…I just…just a little more time,” she sighed.

Horatio just let her run out of words. She wound down and sat there, with him watching her. “When was your last day off?” he asked, finally.

“Oh, I don’t know,” she sighed. “Last Thursday, maybe? I have Sunday off.”

Horatio nodded. “I think you might be working too hard,” he said.

“What? Oh, no, I’m fine. There’s just a lot going on,” she said, waving his concern away.

“You’re not fine, Calleigh,” Horatio said gently. “You’ve been going without a break for three months. You’re going to wear yourself out, and that’s not going to do you or Speed any good at all, because if you get sick, then he’s definitely going to get sick. And that’s just what you’re trying to prevent, isn’t it?”

She shook her head. “I can’t stop, I don’t have the time.”

He tilted his head. “I can make the time. In fact, I’m going to make the time for you.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, frowning.

“You’re going to go down and finish what you were working on. And then you’re going to turn everything over to me and go home. And not come back until January 1st,” he said, calmly.

“What? Horatio, I have no leave time left, at all!” she exclaimed. “It’s the 16th. I can’t be gone for two weeks.”

“You can if I put you on leave,” Horatio said.

“You can’t do that,” she protested weakly.

“I can. I will. Calleigh, I told Speed the same thing in September. What makes you think I wouldn’t do the same for you?” he asked.

She shook her head and slumped back in her chair. “All right,” she surrendered.

“Good. Now, the rest will probably help, but I think you ought to consider some other help as well,” Horatio said.

“God, not you too,” she sighed. “Did Tim put you up to this?”

“He did not, no,” Horatio said. “Why?”

“Because he made me a deal about his post traumatic counseling, that he’d go if I went and talked to someone,” she said.

“Ah,” Horatio said. “It would be a good idea.”

“Mmm,” she said, closing her eyes. She didn’t really want to. She didn’t think she was so badly off as all that, first of all, and second of all, there was the whole child of alcoholics issue that tended to come up with these sorts of things. And if she barely had the energy to deal with Eric and John’s deaths, she really did not have the energy to deal with her parents. “If I need to talk to someone, and Tim needs to talk to someone, what about you?” she asked, pointedly, opening her eyes to glare at him.

“I did already,” he said.

“You did?” she asked, surprised.

He nodded. “You were right, in North Carolina. I was a bit…unsteady.”

She snorted. “That’s one word for it, I suppose.”

“At any rate,” he said, raising an eyebrow at her. “When we got back, I decided I should probably do something about that, if I wanted to ever have a chance at getting some control over the chaos going on around here.”

“I see,” she said. “Humph.”

He smiled a bit. “I can recommend some people, if you like. Either departmentally or outside.”

She sighed. “All right,” she said.

“Good,” he said. “I’m only doing this because I care about you. You know that, right?”

“I know,” she sighed. “I do, really. Tim said the same thing, more or less.”

“Good,” he said, again. He turned towards his desk and scribbled something on a piece of paper for a moment. “Here. The first two are through Psych Services here. The third is a friend of a friend,” he said, handing her the paper.

She folded it and put it in her pocket. “Thanks.”

“Anytime. Go finish up your testimony and get out of here, ok? Call me if you need anything,” he said, standing up.

“I will,” she promised as she pushed herself up and went back downstairs.

Scott was still in the room where she’d left her papers. She steeled herself for a frosty reception as she walked through the doorway. He glanced up, but didn’t say anything. “Scotty, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you,” she said, contritely.

“It’s all right,” he said. “I’m sorry I didn’t know better.”

“Oh, that’s not your fault. Look, here’s what happened,” she said. “I moved in with Tim Speedle after what happened at the warehouse because he needed someone to stay with him while he’s recovering. One of the things that happened was that they had to remove his spleen to stop some internal bleeding when he was hurt. You can live without a spleen just fine, but it makes you more susceptible to infection. The other thing that happened was that because of his other injuries, he couldn’t eat real food for more than a month, and even when he could, it was still really difficult. He’s lost a lot of weight, and he was a pretty skinny guy to begin with, so it got pretty scary for awhile. So, not only is it easier for him to get sick, but he’s not really in good condition to fight anything off or get better if he does get sick.”

“Wow. I didn’t know. I mean, they told us he’d been really badly hurt, obviously, but not what happened. And none of us wanted to ask, because you all didn’t need us being nosy,” Scott replied.

She smiled. “It’s ok. I’m sorry we made you guys feel out of the loop.”

“No, no,” he said, shaking his head. “Not at all. Look, Calleigh, you and Horatio and the rest of the lab have been amazingly patient and kind to me and Kiara and Jack, given that we all know that the only reason we’re here is because people you cared a lot about aren’t.”

She blinked back sudden tears. “Thank you,” she said, after a moment, when she thought she might have her voice under control. “Thank you for understanding.”

“You’re welcome. Is there anything I can do for you?” he asked.

She smiled tiredly. “Not really. Thank you for offering. I’m going to finish this up and then call it a day. Horatio’s giving me some time off.”

“Ok, good. You have a good rest, then, ok?” he said, gathering up his own things.

“I will,” she said. “Thanks.”

“No problem. And I hope Tim keeps getting better. Will he be back soon, you think?”

She nodded. “We don’t know exactly when, yet, but I’m guessing he’ll be cleared to work sometime in the next month or two. So not much longer, I hope.”

“Good. I’m looking forward to meeting him and I know Jack and Kiara are, too,” Scott nodded.

She smiled. “I’ll tell him so. I think he’ll be pleased.”

Scott smiled back. “Ok, then. I’ll see you later.”

“Later,” she said. She closed her eyes a moment before turning back to the papers in front of her. Time to finish this and get out of here.

---

Chapter 7

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I'm finding my way back to sanity again
though I don't really know what I'm gonna do when I get there
and take a breath and hold on tight
spin around one more time
and gracefully fall back to the arms of grace

‘cause I am hanging on every word you say and
even if you don't want to speak tonight
that's alright, alright with me

“Breathing”, Lifehouse

---

He heard the front door open and knew it was Calleigh from what she said to whichever cat was trying to escape. He was too tired to call out to her; Horatio had brought him home some time ago and he’d been curled up on his bed ever since, just laying limply, hoping his head would stop hurting and let him sleep. It wasn’t working.

Calleigh moved through the house. His ears tracked her as she went into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, then moved down the hall to her bedroom. She emerged from the bedroom and he saw her glance at his door, then stop. “Hey,” she said, coming into the room. “I didn’t think you were here. Where’s your car?”

“The medical center,” he said, in a half cracked voice.

“Is it ok?” she asked, sitting on the side of the bed. He nodded. “Are you ok?”

He shrugged. “I guess.”

“What happened?” she asked, stretching out next to him. She looked tired, too.

“I kinda freaked out when it was time to get in the car. H came and gave me a ride. I didn’t want to bug you with it,” he replied.

“You wouldn’t have been bugging me,” she said, shaking her head.

“I know. But I didn’t figure you needed to deal with me being stupid on top of everything else,” he said.

“It’s not stupid, Tim,” she rebuked him, gently.

“Mmm,” he said.

She was quiet a moment. “So that’s where Horatio went,” she said, finally.

“Hm?” he said, raising an eyebrow.

“Around lunchtime, he told me he was going to take care of something and he’d be back,” she said. “He must have been going to get you.”

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“Well, good,” she sighed.

Tim realized suddenly that it was still awfully bright outside for Calleigh to be home already. “What time is it?” he asked.

“Around 3:30,” she replied.

“What are you doing home so early?” he asked, frowning.

She sighed. “Horatio kicked me out and told me not to come back until the 1st,” she admitted.

“He did?” he asked, his eyebrows climbing.

“Yeah,” she sighed.

“And here I thought I was the only one who got those sorts of orders,” he said, looking at her. “Are you ok? What happened?”

“I’m fine. Just tired. He says I’ve been working too hard and need a break, that’s all,” she reassured him.

He gave her a skeptical look. “Um, ok?”

She sighed again. “Ok, I lost my temper with Scotty and I guess that was the last straw for Horatio.”

“Ah,” he said. He didn’t ask why she lost her temper. She probably wouldn’t tell him. “So you get some time off.”

“Yeah,” she nodded.

“Are you going to go to Louisiana, then?” he asked.

She sighed. “I don’t know. I should, but to be honest, I was really kind of relieved that I had an excuse to say I wasn’t coming.”

“Oh,” he said, understanding.

“My dad is going to be there, and he’s going to try and convince my mom to come to Miami, and she’s going to try to convince him to come back to Darnell, and they’ll fight about his drinking and her spending habits. And then Kenny and Marybeth will be there with their two kids, who are adorable, but they’re really spoiled brats, because Kenny is trying to prove something about parenting, but he’s really not doing a great job at it. So Mom will get on his case about the kids, and he’ll get all stubborn and shirty with her, and the whole thing will be just one huge bickering session,” she said, scrubbing a hand across her face. “Honestly, I don’t think I have the energy for it.”

“So don’t go,” Tim shrugged. “Stay here and have Christmas with us. My parents were kind of looking forward to seeing you anyway.”

“They were?” she asked, surprised.

“Yeah, Mom asked if you were going to be in town. I said you’d be working, so yes. She said good,” he said. “I don’t know exactly how entertaining it’ll be, though. My brother wants to go to Ft. Lauderdale to go to a grocery store, if that gives you any sort of idea of what kind of people I’m related to. I doubt you got the full flavor in September.”

She laughed. “They don’t have grocery stores in Syracuse?”

“They do. Matt and my parents all have a thing about food and he went to this store while he was visiting colleges somewhere and thought it was the best thing ever. He and my dad are having a running debate as to whether it could possibly be as good as this other store in Syracuse, so they’re going to settle the bet while they’re down here. We’ll probably get a good meal or two out of it, though, so I guess it’s worth it,” he said.

“Are you looking forward to seeing them?” she asked.

“I am, actually,” he admitted.

“Then why are you nervous about it? You’ve been cleaning like a madman,” she said.

He sighed. “This…this is only the second time they’ve been to Miami, not counting September. And the first time was when we were still fighting, and they called the house a pit. So, I don’t know, I just want it to be as nice as it can be. Because it’s the first time they’ve offered to come for a holiday, you know?”

“Ah,” she said. “But they’ve seen the house, they know it’s a nice place. They said so, when they were here.”

“Yeah, but...I don’t know. It’s a big deal, you know, and I just want them to know that I know that,” he said, as he fidgeted with the edge of the pillowcase.

“You don’t want to give them a reason to fight with you?” she asked.

“No, it’s not that. We stopped fighting a long time ago. There won’t be fighting, I promise,” he said, looking at her.

“What happened back then?’ she asked. He sighed. “You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to,” she added.

“No, it’s just that most of it was really stupid. All right, here. I went back to New York to finish my degree, right? Well, I refused to go to Syracuse the entire time I was there. They didn’t like that very much. And then, I left again and came back to Miami. They didn’t understand why I would do that and they didn’t understand why I decided to become a CSI. Hell, I didn’t understand it, either, so it’s not like I could explain it to them. So, they thought it would just be a phase and I’d come back to Syracuse. Except I didn’t, and had no intention of doing so, either. I’d been here maybe two years when I decided to buy the house. I told them I was thinking about it, and they came down the week I closed on it to try and stop me and talk me into going home. The whole thing was a mess. The screaming match went on for so long that I showed up at work the next day with no voice and a broken blood vessel in one eye, that’s how hard we were yelling at each other. Marianne had to step in and tell them to go home and leave me alone,” he said. It almost felt good to explain it to her, to tell someone who would understand messy family situations, so he kept going.

“We didn’t talk for about a year. Well, they had a reason to call me, finally, and we started talking again, but probably 9 times out of 10, the phone calls would dissolve into sniping at each other and someone slamming down the phone mid-sentence. My dad finally caught me on a really bad day and started in on something, I don’t even remember what, and I snapped. I told them, look, if all you’re going to do is fight with me, then don’t call me, don’t talk to me. I’m tired and I don’t want to fight anymore. Leave me alone if that’s all you’re going to do. So then we didn’t talk for another six months, until my dad had to call me to tell me about something that was going on back home. I thanked him for calling and was about to hang up, when he said, “no, wait. You’re my son, and I don’t know who you are anymore, but I still love you and this is stupid. I don’t want to fight anymore either.” And that was the end of it,” he explained.

“Wow,” Calleigh said. “I get it now.”

“Yeah. That was probably five years ago now, but we haven’t had a serious argument since. They took awhile to calm down about me not coming home for holidays, but they did. It’s been a lot of work, but they know who I am now and I know who they are and it’s a lot easier. It’s still hard sometimes…well, you know that as well as anyone, you’ve heard me talk to them. But, you know, I’m glad, too. It probably helps that Matt grew up and wanted to go into the restaurant, and I always wanted anything but to take over the restaurant,” he sighed. “But Matt loves it. He’ll be good at it, too, I think.”

“There’s a big gap between you two, isn’t there?” Calleigh asked.

“Yeah, he’s 17. He’ll be 18 in February. He’s a pretty cool kid, really. He decided all on his own that he wanted to know me- we left him out of it when we were arguing. He was too young to understand most of it, and besides, he hadn’t seen me since he was about 5. But he goes to the same high school I did, and about two years ago, he started getting teachers that I’d had when I was there, and between talking to them, and talking to some of the rest of our family, he pieced together some of what happened that no one had really explained to him. The fights and why I left and why I didn’t come back, that sort of thing. And then he broke into my mom’s email and found my email address and wrote this long email introducing himself. He said he figured I wouldn’t really know much about him, so he’d better fill me in on everything. So we’ve been emailing back and forth, since then. He’s absolutely nothing like me; it’s amusing. He’s the kid my parents should have had when they had me,” he smiled. “I gather he was a hell of a lot easier on them than I was.”

Calleigh laughed. “I can’t imagine.”

“Yeah, well,” he said. “I’d be jealous, but it’s too much effort. He’s just too earnest to be jealous of him.”

“That’s nice,” she said.

“So, that’s the story,” he said, yawning. “You’ll probably get more when they get here.”

“I was meaning to ask you if you wanted me to go back to my place while they were here,” Calleigh said.

He blinked at her. “Why? I mean, if you really want to, but you don’t have to. They know you’re here. They don’t care. Actually, they’re pretty glad of it.”

“Well, I didn’t want it to be awkward for you. And I didn’t know where you’d put everyone to sleep if I was here,” she said.

He shrugged. “I was thinking that I’d move in with you in the guest bedroom, my parents could sleep in here, and Matt can have the air mattress in the living room. Or if you didn’t want to share, I’d take the air mattress and Matt could have the couch.”

“I don’t mind sharing with you, no,” she said. “We do more often than not lately, anyway.”

“That’s about what I figured,” he said, yawning again. It was past his usual naptime and it was finally catching up with him.

“Your parents aren’t going to like kicking you out of your bed, you know. Why don’t we stay in here and they can have the guest room. I’ll move some stuff out of the dresser so they have some room,” she said.

“Whichever,” he said, closing his eyes.

“Ok, then,” she said. They were quiet for a moment. “It’s funny, I was just thinking that it would be awfully lonely to go back to my apartment after having lived here with you and the cats for so long. I kinda like it here.”

“Then don’t go,” he mumbled sleepily. “Just stay here. I kinda like it that you’re here. No sense in going back and us both being lonely.”

If she replied, he didn’t hear it. But he felt her hand brush though his hair as he finally dropped off to sleep completely.

---

Chapter 8

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It's not as easy as willing it all to be right
Gotta be more than hoping it's right
I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it
Collapse into me, tired with joy

“Hands Open”, Snow Patrol

---

Calleigh opened the front door on Sunday afternoon to find Horatio standing on the doorstep. “Hey,” she said, with a smile. She’d about forgotten that he’d said he’d come by on Sunday.

“Hi,” he said, smiling back.

“Hang on,” she said, sticking a foot out to block Toast from darting out. “Oh, no you don’t, Mr. Escape Artist,” she said, pushing him back. “Come on in,” she said, to Horatio.

“Does he do that every time the door opens?” Horatio asked.

“Most times,” she said. “I don’t think Tim even notices it anymore. I’ve gotten used to it.”

“Where is Speed, anyway?” he asked. “I didn’t see his car.”

“He went to the store,” she shrugged. “He was going to clean off the back porch and discovered the spray nozzle for the hose was broken.”

“Ah,” Horatio said. “So, how are you doing? Have you been relaxing?”

“If you call steam cleaning the carpets relaxing, sure,” she said, shrugging.

“Why on Earth would you be steam cleaning the carpets?” Horatio asked, confused.

She sighed. “Tim’s parents are coming on Tuesday. He’s going a bit crazy with the cleaning.”

“Ah,” Horatio nodded. “I thought it looked a little cleaner than usual in here.”

“A little?” she asked, incredulously. “Horatio, this place is gleaming. It’s practically blinding!”

He shrugged. “Is it keeping him out of trouble?”

“Well, yes,” she admitted.

“And is it keeping him from panicking?” he asked.

“Mostly, I think, yes,” she admitted.

“Then let him clean,” Horatio shrugged.

“I just don’t want him tiring himself out. He’s still not supposed to be doing really strenuous things,” she said. “To be fair, though, he did wait and let me help with most of the heavy stuff.”

“Good,” Horatio said. “He’ll be fine, Calleigh.”

“I know,” she said. “But I really don’t know what he’s going to do after they go. They’re not clearing him to go back to work for at least another month.”

“Yes, I saw the schedule,” Horatio nodded.

“You saw the post-traumatic schedule,” Calleigh said. “I doubt he mentioned that aside from the counseling that the doctors won’t clear him medically until he gains a total of 10 pounds.”

“That might take awhile,” Horatio allowed. “How many does he have to go?”

“Seven,” she sighed. “And he’s barely averaging a pound a week. So it’s looking more like mid-February, or even March. He’s going to get bored long before that. Hell, I think more than a little of this cleaning frenzy is boredom anyway. I don’t really want to think about what sort of trouble he could get up to if he’s out of work for another two months. It’s more than wonderful that he’s really starting to feel better, but…”

Horatio nodded. “But Speed doesn’t handle boredom very well,” he finished.

“Exactly,” she sighed.

“Well, I have an idea to deal with that,” he said.

“You do?” Calleigh asked, surprised.

“I do.” Horatio confirmed. “I don’t know if he’ll go for it, though.”

“What is it?” she asked.

Horatio pulled a folded piece of paper out of his back pocket and handed it to her. “I thought that since he was still going to be out of work for several weeks yet, he might consider something like this.”

She unfolded the paper and found a description of a graduate program in forensics and criminology offered at UM. “Huh,” she said. “I don’t know,” she said, finally. “It would probably keep him out of trouble, sure enough, but I’d be concerned it would give him something else to obsess over. He uses work to avoid things, you know that, right?”

Horatio nodded. “I know, but I’d think obsession requires more energy than he has right now.”

She laughed. “You’d be surprised.” She folded the paper back up. “Ask him, I guess. But don’t be surprised if he’s resistant to the idea. From what he’s said, he didn’t exactly enjoy college.”

“Who didn’t enjoy college?” Tim said, as he came through the breezeway door carrying a box of pizza and a handful of shopping bags.

“I didn’t even hear you pull up,” Calleigh said, frowning as she came forward to take the pizza box from him.

He shrugged. “Who didn’t enjoy college?” he repeated. “Hi, H.”

“You didn’t, apparently,” Horatio said, nodding hello.

“Oh,” Tim said, setting the bags on the table. “I don’t know if that’s entirely true,” he said, as he started to unpack the bags. “There were some things I liked. I liked the classes well enough, most of the time.”

“Ah,” Calleigh said. “What did you get at Target?” she asked, half out of a desire to distract from the conversation she and Horatio had been having about him, and half out of wonderment that he’d braved Target five days before Christmas.

“New bedsheets,” he said, glancing up at her.

“Oh…ok…” she said, blinking.

“You said the sheets on the bed were getting threadbare,” he said, as he shoved the bags into the bag holder on the inside of the breezeway door. “So I got new ones.”

“You’re right, I just didn’t expect you’d go get new sheets right away,” she explained.

He shrugged. “I was right by there. You staying for dinner, H?”

“Sure,” Horatio said, nodding.

“Good thing I got the large pizza, then,” he said, nodding. “I’m going to throw the sheets in the washer, I’ll be right back.”

Calleigh and Horatio exchanged a look as he left the room. She shrugged. “Well, all right then.”

“I guess,” Horatio said, shrugging back.

She shook her head bemusedly as she got some plates and glasses. “There’s sweet tea and there’s Coke,” she said.

“Tea is fine,” Horatio said, accepting the plates.

“Tim? You want tea or Coke?” she called out.

“Whichever,” he called back.

“Tea it is, then,” she said, getting the pitcher from the fridge.

Tim reappeared and sat down. “So, why does it matter that I didn’t like college?” he asked, as he took a slice of pizza.

“Well, I was thinking, since you’ll be on leave yet for awhile, you might want something to do,” Horatio said, after a glance at Calleigh. “So, I talked to someone I know over at UM and she pointed out that they’ve got a graduate program for forensics and criminology,” he said, handing over the sheet of paper.

Tim took it, and read it. “Hmm,” he said, looking thoughtful as he took a bite of pizza. “Aren’t I likely to know most of this already?” he asked.

“Well, I did talk to someone in the department, and they did say that with 10 years of experience, they’d be more than willing to let you test out of a fair amount of the introductory classes if you wanted to do the degree program,” Horatio replied. “So, yes, it’s likely you’ll know a lot, but I think there might be enough to challenge you a bit. And there are options for independent research, which I think you’d like,” he added. “You never get enough time to play with the stuff that interests you at the lab. We’re always too busy trying to get results.”

“True,” he said. “But H, I’m on short term disability right now. And that’s just barely enough to pay the mortgage and the bills. I don’t think I can afford to do this.”

“The department would pay for it, Speed,” Horatio said.

He laughed a bit. “What, like they aren’t spending enough money on me right now?”

“Tim, you were injured in the line of duty. The department is obligated to pay for your recovery,” Calleigh pointed out.

“I know. And I’m glad they are, because I doubt I could,” he said. “I’m just saying, isn’t asking for tuition money a bit much?”

“Different budgets,” Horatio said. “Besides, you’re more than eligible for job-related education expenses. You have been for years. Trust me, the department will pay for it.”

“Mmm,” Tim said, leaning back in his chair.

“Plus, this would give you some options for later,” Horatio said. “Just in case.”

“Just in case I decide not to go back into the field, you mean,” Tim said, narrowing his eyes.

“Yes,” Horatio nodded.

Speed nodded slowly. “Ok, I’ll buy that.” He tilted his head and looked at Calleigh. “You don’t like the idea,” he said.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. It depends on whether you’re likely to get as obsessive over school as you are with work.”

He smiled. “Ah,” he said. He took another bite of pizza as he seemed to consider his answer. “I don’t think that’s very likely.”

“You don’t?” Calleigh asked, raising her eyebrows at him. “You were awfully single minded about school, from what I hear.”

“Sure, yes, I was,” he said. “I had reason to be.”

“And you don’t now?” Calleigh said.

He sighed. “Not…not for the same reasons,” he said, slowly. “No, I think it would be different, now.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” Calleigh started to apologize, but he waved it off.

“No, it’s fine. Really. But that’s not why I think it would be different this time,” he said.

“Why would it, then?” Horatio asked.

“Well, for one thing, I’d be doing this because I wanted to, not because I was…trying to fix something,” he said, chewing on his bottom lip. He smiled suddenly at Calleigh. “And besides, I highly doubt either of you two, Alexx or Andy would let me get obsessive about anything right now, anyway.”

“Well, there is that,” Calleigh admitted.

“True,” Horatio agreed.

“So this is viable, then,” he said, looking at Calleigh.

“All right, yes,” she relented. “You’re right.”

He smirked at her, and she kicked him under the table. “Ow,” he complained. She stuck her tongue out at him and he laughed. Horatio just raised an eyebrow at the two of them. “All right, then,” he said. “But I don’t see how I’d be able to do this right now. Wouldn’t I have to apply and start in the fall and all that?”

“You would have to go and talk to someone in the department,” Horatio said. “But they’re apparently willing to let you register for a class or two as a non-degree student for the winter quarter. And then once you’re officially in the program, those credits would apply retroactively.”

“If I get in,” Tim said.

“Oh, come on, Tim. You graduated from Columbia with honors and you have 10 years of experience in the field. I can’t imagine them not accepting you,” Calleigh said. “They might even pay for you to do it.”

He shrugged. “It might be pretty competitive. And my records from Columbia aren’t entirely… impressive. There’s that nice big gap in the middle and the semester of failing grades because I didn’t exactly bother to withdraw properly when I skipped town. I graduated with honors, sure, but that was due to my thesis work, not my GPA.”

“I imagine they’ll take your experience into account more than your GPA, Speed,” Horatio pointed out.

“Yeah,” Calleigh nodded. “You’ve done more than enough to account for that.”

“Maybe,” he said, his face twisting into one of his more inscrutable expressions. Calleigh was never quite sure if that expression meant he agreed with what was being said, or if he was mentally berating himself for some imagined weakness. “I’d have to take the GREs, I bet,” he sighed.

“More than likely, yes,” Horatio said.

He laughed quietly. “I haven’t taken a standardized test since I was maybe 16.”

“Other than departmental exams,” Calleigh said.

“Doesn’t count. Not really,” Tim said. “The rank is illusionary, anyway.”

“It is not,” she said.

He shook his head. “Yours isn’t. Mine is.” She opened her mouth to protest that, but he shook his head again. “It’s fine, Cal. I have reasons, ok?”

She sighed. “Fine.” Obviously there was something he didn’t want to tell her. She glanced sidelong at Horatio, surprised that he hadn’t contradicted Tim with her, but he just looked at her expressionlessly over the rim of his glass. “I think you can handle the GRE, Tim,” she said, moving the conversation onward.

“Oh, probably,” he said, shrugging. “It’s just been awhile. It’s amusing.”

“So you think you want to do this?” Horatio asked.

“I think you two are just looking for a way to keep me out of trouble, is what I think,” Tim replied.

“The thought had crossed my mind,” Horatio admitted.

Tim laughed. “Thought so. I’ll think about it, how’s that.”

“Sure,” Horatio said. “You’ve got until the 3rd to really make up your mind, they said.”

“Ok,” he said. “Anyone want to help wash the back porch?” he asked as he pushed away from the table.

“No, not really,” Calleigh said. “It can wait for the morning, can’t it? It’s getting dark.”

He smiled. “I was kidding, Cal. I’m gonna do it in the morning.”

She rolled her eyes. “Lovely.”

“Well, my folks are really looking forward to not being buried under a foot of snow. I’m guessing we’ll be using the porch, so it might be nice if the furniture was at least somewhat clean,” he said, shrugging.

“Fair enough,” Calleigh said. “But not tonight.”

“No, not tonight,” he agreed.

“Good, because I’m tired,” she said. “And I’m supposed to be relaxing,” she added, looking at Horatio.

“She has a point,” Horatio agreed.

“Fine, fine,” Tim said, throwing up his hands. “What’s relaxing?”

“I don’t know about you, but I could stand another round in the perpetual Trivial Pursuit tournament,” she said, grinning slyly.

“Getting your ass kicked is relaxing?” he countered.

“Who said I was getting my ass kicked? I’m ten points behind Horatio, last I looked,” she said. “That’s not exactly a huge margin, there.”

“Yeah, but I’m 30 points up on H, so that puts you in last place, doesn’t it?” Tim smirked.

“Humph,” she said. “Go get the game, smartass.”

Tim laughed as he left the room. She smiled after him. “God, that’s such a good sound,” she sighed.

“It is, isn’t it?” Horatio agreed.

She closed her eyes and nodded. Yes, yes it was.

---

Chapter 9

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Flashbulbs and wine,
And hold that smile,
Everyone's here, flown for miles,
Looks like you're still the test and we're looking our best

“Christmas Pics”, Barenaked Ladies

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The phone rang and he jerked awake from his nap on the couch to answer it. “Yeah?” he said, sleepily.

“Now, is that any way to answer a phone?” his mom said.

“Sorry, Mom. I wasn’t really awake,” he explained as he sat up. “You’re here?”

“You’re forgiven, and yes, we’re here. We’ve just picked up the rental car and we’re about to leave the airport. So, we’ll be at your house in, about twenty minutes?” she asked.

“Mmm, more like thirty, but yeah,” he said. “Good. Are you guys hungry?”

“You have a seventeen year old brother,” she pointed out.

“Good point. Ok, I’ll get dinner organized, then,” he replied.

“That would probably be wise,” she agreed.

“You guys up to going out, or would you rather eat in?” he asked.

“Oh, we’re fine. Whatever you wanted to do would be fine with us, honey,” she said.

“Ok,” he said, yawning. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

“See you soon, Tim,” his mom said as she hung up.

He nodded to himself as he thought about dinner. “Cal?” he called. She didn’t answer. He frowned and pulled himself up to go look for her.

He found her outside on the back porch talking on her cell phone. “Yes, I know….I know. I didn’t…all right,” she sighed as he raised his eyebrows at her. “Dad”, she mouthed at him. He nodded and retreated to sit on the stoop. “I know, Daddy, but really, it has nothing to do with you. I’m just really tired and no good company for y’all. You’ll have a better time this way, ok? No, we’re going to have a pretty quiet time, I think. Yes, I’ll call. Of course. Ok, my love to Kenny and Marybeth. And Mama too. I’ll talk to you later, ok? Yes, I love you too,” she sighed. “Ok, bye.” She clicked off her phone and sighed. “Lord.”

“They’re upset,” he said, not really asking.

“A bit, yes. But I couldn’t really give a damn,” she said. “I am not up to that.”

“Understandable,” he nodded. She looked tired and upset and he had a flash of inspiration. “Has H gotten himself in trouble down in Little Havana lately?” he asked.

She blinked at the seeming non-sequitur, but shook her head. “No, nothing’s really gone on down there in at least a month or two. Why?”

“Do you think you might be up for Pepita’s?” he asked, knowing it was one of Calleigh and Eric’s favorite restaurants. “If you aren’t, I understand, but I’m trying to think where to go for dinner tonight when my folks get here, and that’s the sort of place they’d love. But if you’re not feeling up to it, we can take them somewhere else.”

“God, I haven’t been to Pepita’s since…oh, May, I think. Eric’s birthday,” she sighed. “We just never got back there this past summer.”

“I know,” he said, nodding. “And I know how much you love it.”

“I do,” she said, brightening a bit. “You know, that sounds excellent. You want Horatio to come too?” she asked.

“Yeah, it’s probably a good idea to have two Spanish speakers with us, I’d think. I don’t think my parents know any Spanish, and I think Matt takes German at school, so I doubt he knows much, either,” he said.

“Ok, I’ll call him and see if he’s up for it. Your parents are on their way?” she asked.

“Yeah, they’re just leaving the airport now,” he nodded.

“Good, then you’ve got time to take a shower and get dressed,” she said, looking him up and down. When he blinked at her, she sighed, “You’re still in your pajamas, Tim. Didn’t you notice?”

He looked down and saw that she was right. “Oh. You know, I was going to get dressed and then I got distracted and went to look something up and it must have just slipped my mind.”

She shook her head in amusement. “Well, good thing I said something, then, otherwise you might never have figured it out.”

“Humph,” he said, levering himself up to go back into the house.

Some hours later, after a flurry of excitement and an excellent dinner, Tim found himself standing on the beach near his house with Matt and Calleigh while his parents walked ahead.

“This is way cool,” Matt said. “I mean, it’s December, and we’re on a beach!”

Tim smiled. He wouldn’t admit it aloud, but he tended to feel the same sort of amazement every winter, even after nearly 10 years. “Welcome to Miami.”

“Dude, you know how much snow we’ve got already?” Matt crowed.

“I can imagine,” Tim said.

“More than we saw in North Carolina?” Calleigh asked.

“I’m sure,” Tim replied. “What, 12-15 inches already?” he asked Matt.

“Near about, yeah,” Matt said. “Is the water warm enough to swim in?”

Tim shrugged. “Maybe not for Miamians, but you’d probably be fine. You planning on getting some training in while you’re here?”

“Yeah, I had to promise I’d run every day while I’m here, but if I can swim, it would be even better. I haven’t done much open water, though,” Matt admitted.

“You’re a swimmer?” Calleigh asked.

“Yup,” Matt said. “I swim the 100 fly and the 200 IM. And a freestyle relay, if I’m needed.”

“Wow,” Calleigh said. “That’s cool. But I bet it’s cold in the winter.”

Matt laughed. “It is, a bit. You get used to it, though.”

“This beach isn’t the best for swimming, since there’s no lifeguard, but I can take you somewhere that would be better,” Tim said. “Or, Alexx has a Y membership for her family and she said she could get a pass for a week if you wanted to use the pool.”

“Really? That would actually be great. Coach wasn’t all that thrilled with me missing most of the two-a-days, even if I am going to be back in time for the meet,” Matt explained. “He understood why I needed to go, but I can’t say he was happy about the timing, since they’ll be scouts at the meet.”

“He thinks you’ve got a scholarship shot?” Tim asked, raising his eyebrows.

“It’s possible,” Matt shrugged. “Not at one of the big name schools, but there’s some smaller schools that are sending people out too. He thinks I can make States this year, though, and that would probably nail me a partial if I do well these next two meets.”

“You didn’t tell me that,” Tim said. “That’s awesome.”

“Well, every bit helps, y’know?” Matt shrugged.

“Oh, I know,” Tim agreed, nodding. “I’ll call Alexx when we get back.”

“Sweet. And hey, if not, I can run still,” Matt said. “You still run?”

Tim shook his head. “Not like I used to, no. My knee starts to protest after about two miles, and really, I only have to be able to do a sub-12 mile to pass the physical tests, so I only really train when those are coming up.”

“You’re way under 12, though, I’d think,” Matt said.

Tim nodded. “I made it in 9 last year, but I wasn’t really pushing it. I could probably have done it closer to 8.”

“That’s respectable, after a knee surgery,” Matt said.

“After 15 years and four knee surgeries, yeah, it’s not bad,” Tim said, dryly.

“Four?” Matt asked, frowning.

“The original, and three revisions,” Tim nodded. “Word of advice: don’t fuck your knee up yet. If I’m anything to go by, you’re not gonna stop growing until you’re about 23. I grew about four inches between 18 and 23.”

“Damn,” Matt said. “I forgot about the revisions.”

“Eh, you were small,” Tim shrugged.

“Wait, you were a runner?” Calleigh asked.

“Cross-Country,” he said, nodding.

“I completely cannot see you as a jock,” she said, looking at him and shaking her head.

Matt laughed, and Tim sighed. “I wasn’t. It’s kind of a family rule, everyone does two extracurriculars in high school.”

“Yup. Preferably a sport and an academic thing, although if you don’t make a sport, you can do two academic things. But you’ve got to try out for something. Oh, and you work the restaurant, too,” Matt said. “I swim and volunteer with the Tutoring Club. And do Youth Group at church and work 10 hours a week at the restaurant.”

“Good Lord,” Calleigh said, shaking her head. “When do you get all your homework done?”

Matt shrugged. “Well, right now, I don’t do much with the Youth Group, since it’s swim season. I’ll pick that back up in March. And I’m only doing tutoring during study hall and lunch two days a week, since I’ve got practice after school. Meets are on Fridays, so I work Saturdays and Sundays. You get good at balancing it all out. That’s why we do it, you see. Papa was a big fan of having well rounded and capable kids.”

“Your grandpa?” she asked. Tim and Matt nodded. “So you did Cross-Country?” she asked Tim.

“Well, I was only 13 when I started high school,” he explained. “And I was small, at that. Football wasn’t exactly in the cards.”

She laughed. “Lord, Tim, you’d never make a football player. You’re much too scrawny.”

“Yes, well, it was worse,” he sighed.

“I can only imagine,” she said, smiling. “So what was your second activity?”

“Science Club,” he shrugged.

“Why am I not surprised?” she smiled.

“Hey, he won the state science fair four years running,” Matt said, proudly.

“Did you really?” Calleigh asked.

He sighed. “Yeah. Me and Jason.”

“Oh,” she said, quieter.

“No, it’s good, really,” he said. “Remind me, I’ll show you the photo album sometime,” he offered, shyly. He’d never offered to show anyone before, but he knew Calleigh would get a kick out of it.

“Oh, I’ll remind you,” she said.

“They did cool stuff,” Matt said. “I remember some of it. And they still talk about it, the teachers do.”

Before Tim could frame a reply to that, his Dad called from up ahead, “Hey, Matt, come here and look at this.”

“Ok,” Matt called, breaking away to jog over to his parents.

Calleigh watched him with a bemused smile on her face. “He’s nothing like you,” she remarked to Tim.

“No, thank God,” he said, shaking his head.

She chuckled. “You’re getting tired, aren’t you?”

“Mmm, yeah,” he said.

“You want to head home?” she asked.

“Nah, they’re enjoying it. If you don’t mind playing host for a minute or two, I’ll just go sit for awhile, you guys can collect me on the way back up,” he said, nodding towards a nearby rock.

“No, I don’t mind,” she said. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just want to sit awhile,” he replied.

“All right, then. Yell if you need anything, or if you get ready to go home, ok?” she said. “I won’t let them get too much further.”

“Thanks, Cal,” he said, glad that she understood why he wanted her to stick with his folks. It wasn’t that he didn’t think they could take care of themselves, but he didn’t want them to get too far away, or feel abandoned, either.

“No problem,” she said, turning to walk towards his family as he picked his way over to the rock. It was the rock he and Calleigh usually sat on when they walked down here, and he sat down in his familiar spot. He noticed his mom glance back at him before saying something to Calleigh and making her way towards him.

“Hey, kiddo,” she said, smiling at him. “You all right?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, smiling back. “Just getting a little tired. As sad as it seems, it’s getting towards my bedtime.”

“Not sad at all. It’s been a long day,” she said, sitting down next to him on the rock. “Mind if I keep you company?”

“Of course not,” he said, shifting to give her some more space to sit.

“It must be so nice to live close enough to walk to the beach,” she said with a sigh.

“It is. It’s part of why I bought the house,” he admitted.

“I can understand that, now,” she replied. “The house is beautiful, I don’t think I told you in September.”

“Thank you,” he said.

“Thank you for letting us stay with you,” his mom said. “I know you must have gone to some trouble to get ready.”

“Oh, it wasn’t trouble. It’s just easier for you guys to stay here instead of at a hotel and having to go back and forth and all,” he said. “Did you see the towels on the bed?”

“I did, yes, thank you, sweetie,” she said.

“Good,” he said. “There’s more in the bottom of the cupboard just as you go into the bathroom if you need more. And if you need extra soap or a toothbrush, there’s a blue bin on the second shelf in the top cupboard that has extra stuff in it.”

“Mmm, good, because I will bet you 5 dollars that Matt forgot a toothbrush. He was so excited and so busy when we were getting ready to go,” she said.

“We have lots of toothbrushes,” he said. “Cal came across a buy three, get two free sale last month and bought about ten of them.”

“Well, that’s handy,” his mom laughed.

“Yeah. Oh, and I found somewhere for you guys to go to Mass for Christmas, too. I put the printout with the directions on the dresser in the bedroom. I called and made sure the Masses were in English, too. They’re not, always, around here,” he explained.

“Oh, that’s sweet of you, honey.” she said, squeezing his arm. “I was going to look in the phone book tomorrow or something.”

“I figured you’d want to know. I’m…not going to come, though, ok?” he said, hesitantly. Church was another issue that had been a previous battleground, and he didn’t want to spark it off, even though he was almost sure they had accepted that fact.

“That’s fine, sweetie. Really. Your dad promised he wouldn’t say anything if you didn’t want to go to Mass. It’s fine,” she nodded.

“Is he upset about it?” he asked.

“Mmm, not really. I think he might have said something out of habit, but not out of any real disappointment,” she replied.

“And you?” he asked, hesitantly.

“Oh, honey. No, I’m fine. You’ve got to go with a whole heart, you know? If I’ve learned anything, it’s that you can’t go for someone else, you’ve got to go for you,” she smiled wryly. “It just doesn’t work, otherwise.”

“Yeah,” he said. His mom would know.

“So, Calleigh has moved in, then?” she asked, changing the subject.

“Not officially, yet, no. But yeah, she lives here now. Her lease isn’t up until March, but she’s not renewing it,” he replied.

“That’s good,” his mom nodded. “Plenty of time to move, then.”

“Yeah, she said that after New Year’s, she’d go over and start figuring out what she really wants to move over and all. Like, we don’t really need two televisions, so she’ll probably sell hers, since mine is newer, but some of her furniture is nicer than mine, so we might use some of it and sell mine,” he explained.

“Makes sense,” she said. “You like her, don’t you?” she asked after a moment.

He blinked. “Well, yeah. I mean, if I had to name someone, she’d probably be my best friend,” he said, slowly, trying to not feel like it was a betrayal.

“No, silly,” his mom said, affectionately. “You like her, like her.”

The all too familiar bubble of panic started to form behind his stomach as he struggled to find a response to that. It wasn’t an idea he’d ever allowed himself to entertain, even before this point. It was off limits, his feelings about Calleigh. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, trying to keep his breath from catching.

“Of course you do,” his mom said, smiling. “She likes you too, you know.”

The bubble rose and his hands clenched as he tried to take a deep breath. He closed his eyes and started counting doubles, a new trick Andy had shown him last week. 2…4…8…16…32…64… By 128, he’d pulled himself back from the panic and it started to dissipate. He looked up to find his mother staring at him with concern. “Timmy?” she asked.

“I’m…I’m fine,” he said, trying to smile at her. “Really, that wasn’t…it’s fine.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” she started.

“No, no, it’s fine, really. This happens when I get tired, you know? I’ve been keyed up all day, too, so you know, it was going to happen at some point,” he said, shaking his head.

“This happens a lot?” she asked.

“Less than it did before. And it wasn’t anything, really. I mean, anything really bad. I got it back, so it’s fine. It’s when I don’t, that it’s a problem,” he tried to explain. “That’s kind of why they won’t let me back to work yet, you see. Because I can’t always keep it together,” he admitted. His mother still looked worried. “Oh, Mom, really, I’m ok. Honest. It’s getting better. I’m working on it. It’s just that I…get tired, that’s all.”

“Ok, honey,” she said. “I believe you.” They said quietly for a moment more while he caught his breath again. “Do you want to get home?” she asked, still slightly concerned.

He smiled sheepishly. “Maybe that would be good, yeah. I’m sorry, I know it’s hardly 9 yet, but it really is nearly bedtime. I go to bed early, anymore.”

“Don’t be sorry, you don’t have anything to apologize for,” she said, slipping her arm around his shoulders and squeezing him. “Nothing at all.” She stood up. “Wait here, I’ll go round everyone up.”

“Thanks,” he said, watching her walk back down to the water’s edge to bring everyone back. He really was overtired. It would be good to sleep, knowing everyone was safely here and having a good time so far.

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