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miss_lucy21Today is a somewhat bittersweet day. It's the 8th anniversary of my grandmother's death. I could tell you about how she was a good person. I could tell you about how she did bad things to the people she loved out of fear, pain, and probable mental illness. I could tell you that I loved her anyway. I could tell you about the guilt I still have around her death, even though if I had done things differently, the outcome would almost certainly have been the same. But that's a story I still don't tell well and maybe never will.
That's the bitterness. The sweet is that it is also the 6th birthday of my best friend's oldest daughter. She's turning into a beautiful, smart young lady and I miss being able to just go hang out at their house like I did when she was a baby who screamed if you weren't standing up while you held her and refused to take a bottle. Or a toddler who liked to point at things in books that you read her and could count to 30 before she was two. She used to call me "Miss Auntie [Lucy]" because she called the teachers at daycare Miss FirstName and thought that you tagged Miss to any adult woman who wasn't Mommy or Grandma, and she knew that I was also her honorary Auntie because her father has been my best friend since we were 18.
So, in retrospect, it's probably perfectly understandable that my lungs decided to pitch a fit on my way home from work. It wasn't horrible, but it was enough to need a hit from my inhaler. And a Benedryl for good measure. I figured it was pollen, but it probably wasn't all pollen.
(The Wellbutrin is still acting within expected parameters. I am kind of unhappy about vague nausea being the only hunger signal I'm getting and also about the fact that I'm also not getting reasonable fullness signals, so I keep eating until I'm overfull, because I can't tell I'm not still hungry. Yeah. Not my idea of a good time. But the rest of the side effects have mostly gone away, so, there's that)
That's the bitterness. The sweet is that it is also the 6th birthday of my best friend's oldest daughter. She's turning into a beautiful, smart young lady and I miss being able to just go hang out at their house like I did when she was a baby who screamed if you weren't standing up while you held her and refused to take a bottle. Or a toddler who liked to point at things in books that you read her and could count to 30 before she was two. She used to call me "Miss Auntie [Lucy]" because she called the teachers at daycare Miss FirstName and thought that you tagged Miss to any adult woman who wasn't Mommy or Grandma, and she knew that I was also her honorary Auntie because her father has been my best friend since we were 18.
So, in retrospect, it's probably perfectly understandable that my lungs decided to pitch a fit on my way home from work. It wasn't horrible, but it was enough to need a hit from my inhaler. And a Benedryl for good measure. I figured it was pollen, but it probably wasn't all pollen.
(The Wellbutrin is still acting within expected parameters. I am kind of unhappy about vague nausea being the only hunger signal I'm getting and also about the fact that I'm also not getting reasonable fullness signals, so I keep eating until I'm overfull, because I can't tell I'm not still hungry. Yeah. Not my idea of a good time. But the rest of the side effects have mostly gone away, so, there's that)