Fic: Making Reservations (CSI:Miami)
Jul. 4th, 2006 09:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
miss_lucy21Making Reservations
Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize from your television set. I do own things you don't recognize from the TV
AN: This takes place concurrently with Engraved Invitations- it fills in some of the little spaces in that story. So, it's not so much what comes next as it's what happened at the same time.
The winter here’s cold, and bitter
It’s chilled us to the bone
We haven’t seen the sun for weeks
To long too far from home
I feel just like I’m sinking
And I claw for solid ground
“Full of Grace”, Sarah McLachlan
She cradled a cup of hot tea in her hands as she sat at the kitchen table and stared at the snow outside. It was mind-numbingly cold, and the sheer stature of the snowdrifts made her feel very, very small. Many of them were taller than her barely 5’2 height, and they looked so…permanent.
“Syracuse has almost the most snowfall of any city in New York State,” Tim had told her earlier that afternoon. “There’s this Golden Snowball award that the city with the most snow gets every year. Syracuse has won it almost every year I can remember.” She’d just stared at him wide-eyed and shook her head. He’d shrugged, and said nothing.
Tim was currently sacked out on the bed in the guest bedroom. She hadn’t been sleepy, but he had gone out like a light as soon as he hit the bed. He’d shown her around the house first, though, despite his tiredness, so she’d had a general idea of what she’d find in the kitchen. She’d made enough sweet tea in her life to be able to make herself a cup of hot tea, although she thought this might be the one of the first times she’d ever really had occasion to do so.
The warmth from the mug helped. She’d never been so cold that she hurt before. Now she completely understood why Tim hated being cold. Air conditioning was such a constant of her life that she’d never really seen why he had a problem with it. But even an air-conditioned room was warmer than it was outside right now. If she was half-aching from the cold, he must not be much better off. She was virtually certain she had a higher body-fat percentage than he did. It probably explained partially why he’d been so happy when she’d suggested coming and taking a nap. And it completely explained the number of blankets he felt necessary to have on the bed back home.
She was proud of him, though. Despite his deep-seated hatred for being cold and his understandable fear of snow and ice, he’d come through for Matt and come home. And then he’d even gone and visited Jason’s parents, which had not been part of the deal, as far as she knew. Sitting in their kitchen and watching him fumble for words under their complete understanding and acceptance had been difficult, but enlightening. Tim hadn’t spent most of the last twelve years flat out refusing to go to Syracuse because of his parents or his family. He’d been avoiding Jason’s parents. The guilt was just too overwhelming. She hadn’t realized that, until now.
How do people live here? she thought. She’d been in town for about six hours and she was already feeling utterly weighed down and depressed. Out of her element. Claustrophobic, even, and she’d never felt claustrophobic before in her life. It was nearly full dark already and it was hardly 6 o’clock.
Oh, come on, now, Calleigh Marie. Knock it off. It’s nearly dark already in Miami, too- you’re in the same time zone. It’s just the clouds making it feel darker. Get your game face on, girl. Tim’s likely to wake up at any time, and his parents could walk in at any point now. This is not about you.
But it was, in some way. In some way, it was about her. Her and Tim. She hadn’t missed the way Lisa had inferred that she and Tim were a couple. She also hadn’t missed the momentary panic and awkwardness that had flitted through Tim’s eyes. It had been a tiny stab to her gut, but thinking back now, she wasn’t at all sure it was what she thought it was. Her immediate reaction was that he was repelled by the idea- which had been her immediate reaction to his reaction to anything that hinted at a furthering of any sort of non-platonic relationship. But now, thinking it over, and thinking back over any number of small incidents since Christmas, she wasn’t at all sure that’s what he thought. Panic isn’t the same as revulsion. She turned it over and over in her head as she sat with the rapidly cooling mug of tea in the coziness of the kitchen.
It was a certainty that she could read him better than she could have six months ago. Six months ago, she could sense when something wasn’t quite right, but she could rarely tell how bad it was, unless he made it really clear by obviously not sleeping and not eating. She could almost never tell if he was happy (or, well, okay. She doubted he was ever really happy). Now, though…now she could tell exactly how upset or depressed he was. She could feel just how close or far from the edge he was. Thankfully, he was moving farther and farther away from that edge, but there were still moments that could be more than a little scary. But even those moments had become somewhat routine. They still scared her, no doubt, but it was a weary fear, and easily dealt with. Sometimes, though, he was still a complete enigma. He had a way of looking at her with a completely blank expression that made it impossible for her to interpret him. That was certainly not new. He’d always been like that.
But she had more incentive to interpret him, now. If nothing else, the past six months had taught her exactly how much he meant to her. The fact that she’d always had a bit of a crush on him was not news to her, and she could date that crush almost to the day they met. He’d been prickly and obnoxious almost to the point of meanness in those early days, but somehow she’d sensed that there was more there, and had managed to be patient with him. Her patience had been rewarded as he slowly relaxed around her. Later, she’d realized that the prickliness and obnoxiousness was due to his fundamental uneasiness about change and dealing with people he didn’t know, and had nothing at all to do with her, personally. This had been confirmed when Sean Donner died and Megan left the first time, and then later, when Horatio took over and Eric joined the team; he’d acted much the same way, both times. Much later, she’d realized that it was more pronounced with her because attractive women made him nervous. She had absolutely no idea why that was, but she’d seen him flustered and tongue-tied in the presence of pretty women enough times over the past five years to know it was true. She wasn’t oblivious to the fact that she was generally considered to be an attractive woman. She even agreed, most of the time, anyway. It was clear he did, as well, given how she could still flummox him at times, even now.
This had all meant almost nothing six months ago. She’d really never entertained the notion he might also have something of a crush on her; Tim seemed so far removed from the kind of flirtatious interplay she was used to with men who liked her. And besides, there’d been the small fling she’d had with Eric, early on, and after that, Tim seemed to be less likely to be drawn to her like that. Not because she and Eric had been sleeping together, but because he and Eric were friendly (or friends, later), and he wasn’t going to horn in on Eric’s territory. They’d never discussed it- the affair had been supposed to be a secret, after all, but it was nearly impossible to keep a secret from Tim. He was too damned observant. Thank God he was also the very soul of discretion. But it had been clear that he’d seen her as “out of bounds” after that.
And then John had come along after that, which had made her even more out of bounds. Tim had never liked John, but he’d never said a single word against the detective in her presence. John had made it clear that the dislike was mutual, but they’d never discussed it, either. Not that it mattered anymore. None of it did. John and Eric were both gone. She and Tim were still here. Over the last six months, that reality had become abundantly clear to her; not that it had ever really been in doubt since that awful day. She suspected that it was slowly dawning on Tim that any real impediment to a relationship was gone. And that realization was frightening him for some reason. But why?
She supposed that it might be because he was interested, rather than because he wasn’t, now. That would make sense for several reasons. He disliked change, and Lord knew he’d had to deal with enough of it recently. He was also incredibly wary of romance. Again, she had no idea why, but it was clear to her that at some point in the past, he’d been bitten. Hard. The two girlfriends she knew about had been short-lived and not terribly intimate relationships. She’d always had the feeling he’d gone out with them because he’d felt pressured to by other people. She knew Eric had introduced him to one of them, and Eric could be awfully damn persuasive. She also knew that the girls had been the ones to call it quits, both times, and that he’d been more than half relieved, both times. It wasn’t something she’d ever quite put together, though, until now.
The tea was cold now. She was all tied in knots now, and was wishing she hadn’t come. There was no way you weren’t coming, Calleigh. Even if he hadn’t asked, she thought. He couldn’t face this alone. But why her? Why had he been so insistent it be her?
A noise in the entryway to the back porch startled her. She looked up to find Melissa fumbling her way into the house. “Hello!” Melissa said cheerfully.
“Hi!” Calleigh said, equally cheerfully, even though she felt anything but.
“It’s so good to see you, how was the trip?” Melissa chattered, as she bustled around the kitchen putting groceries away. “Where’s Tim?”
“The trip was fine,” Calleigh replied. “Tim’s napping.”
“Ah. I’m not surprised, I imagine today took a lot out of him,” Melissa said, nodding. “Do you want more tea? I’m going to heat this up,” she said, gesturing at the teapot.
“Sure,” Calleigh said, handing over her now cold mug. “I don’t think I did a very good job, though.”
“Oh, that’s ok, we can start over,” Melissa smiled. “No problem. I know Danny will want some when he gets home, and I imagine Tim won’t say no to a mug when he wakes up, either.”
“Okay,” Calleigh said. “What time do we have to be at the train station?”
“We need to be there by 10, so we need to leave here by 9:30,” Melissa replied. “It’s not a bad ride, really. I’ve done it often. Sometimes I need to go down to the State agency for meetings,” she explained.
“You’re a social worker?” Calleigh asked.
“Right,” Melissa confirmed. “Someone had to get a job with benefits…might as well be me! I really love it, though.”
“That’s good,” Calleigh said.
“Hi,” came a sleepy voice from behind her. She turned and found Tim leaning against the door frame, eyes still puffy with sleep.
“There’s my boy!” Melissa said, coming around the counter to envelope him into a big hug. “You look really, really good,” she said, holding him at arm’s length.
“Thanks,” he said, blinking. “Is there dinner?” he asked.
“Are you hungry?” Melissa asked.
“Yeah,” he said, sitting down across from Calleigh.
“There’s stew I can heat up,” Melissa offered, trying not to sound surprised. Calleigh wasn’t. She knew Tim’s appetite had been slowly, but surely, returning. And it had been quite awhile since lunch.
“Stew sounds lovely,” Calleigh said. She was also getting hungry.
“Then that sounds like a plan,” Melissa said, as she put the teapot back on to boil.
“Hi,” he said, looking at her.
“Hi,” she replied.
“Warm enough?” he asked.
“Mostly,” she nodded.
“Oh, do say so if you’re not,” Melissa said. “We turned the heat up for you, but if it’s still too cold in here, I can turn it up more. Or I can find you something warmer to wear?” she offered.
Calleigh shook her head. “No, I’m fine, really.” Melissa was considerably taller than Calleigh, which would make it unlikely anything of hers would fit at all well. “Thank you.”
“Well, we’ll have something warm to eat and I’m sure that’ll help,” Melissa said, turning back to her cooking. “Tim, could you set the table, honey?”
“Sure,” he said, pushing away from the table. He smiled a little at her. She smiled back. Game face, she reminded herself. But she was tired and hungry.
Melissa set a fresh cup of tea in front of her and she sipped it gratefully. She closed her eyes and listened to Tim and Melissa chatting quietly as the warmth from the tea spread through her. It helped loosen enough of the knots that she was able to smile genuinely at Tim when he sat down across from her again. This is going to be all right. No matter what “this” is, she thought. It had to be, right?
Chapter 2
Hands open and my eyes open
I just keep hoping
that your heart opens
It's not as easy as willing it all to be right
Gotta be more than hoping it's right
I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it
Collapse into me, tired with joy
“Hands Open,” Snow Patrol
The train rattled down the track, making its way from Syracuse to Albany. It was nicer than Calleigh had expected in some way. She’d never really taken a train before; she’d been on the subway trains in Atlanta, but never a real train. She stretched and looked around. Tim was tucked up in the seat across from her with his back to the window and a book balanced on his knees. She loved watching him read; he completely disappeared into a book, and it was fascinating to watch him react to what he was reading. The book was the one she’d gotten him for Christmas. She was surprised to find he was more than halfway through the very thick volume, since she knew he hadn’t had much time for reading since school started.
Danny and Melissa were curled up together on a seat across the way. Melissa was knitting and reading the newspaper over Danny’s shoulder. They were chatting too softly for Calleigh to hear, but it was clear that they were happy and excited. That made her smile wistfully. She sighed and looked out the window at the night rushing past.
Tim chuckled to himself and closed the book, apparently done with a chapter or something. She glanced up at the motion, and found him smiling. “Want to go to the dining car?” he asked.
“There’s a dining car?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.
“Yeah,” he nodded. “It’s not much like the movies, but there’s usually sandwiches and soda. That sort of thing.”
“Sure,” she shrugged. She followed him down the aisle of the train, wobbling slightly as the train swayed. He led her through the doors separating the train cars and she shivered in the sudden coldness. Three cars later, they found themselves in the dining car.
“See,” he said, smiling.
“I do see,” she said, nodding. They bought sandwiches and sat down at one of the tables. “You’re used to the train.”
“Yeah,” he said. “It’s usually how I got from Syracuse to New York. I only drove when I needed to haul a bunch of stuff, like when I was moving. Otherwise, I just took the train. It was easier. I could get work done.”
“That’s kind of neat,” she said. “There’s not many trains down south anymore.”
“I’ve noticed,” he nodded. “I wanted to take the train to Memphis when Megan made me go to that damn conference, but it would have taken me something like two and a half days to get there, so she wouldn’t let me.”
“I can’t imagine why,” Calleigh said, dryly.
“It’s not like I didn’t have vacation time,” he replied.
“True, but you would have spent twice as much time traveling as you would have spent at the conference. The flight was probably about a tenth of that,’ Calleigh pointed out.
“I don’t like planes,” he shrugged.
“I know,” she sighed.
They ate quietly for a moment. Calleigh looked out the window again. The snow was glowing in the lights of the train. It was pretty, but a little strange at the same time.
“You’re ok?” Tim asked.
“Hm?” she asked, turning back. “Oh, no, I’m fine.”
“Okay,” he said. “You look tired.”
“I am tired,” she said. “You, on the other hand, look wide awake.”
“I had a nap,” he shrugged. She watched him tap the edge of the table with nervous energy.
“You didn’t take your meds,” she pointed out.
“I did,” he said, shaking his head. “Just not the sleeping pill. Which Andy wants to get me off of anyway.”
“But you’re not sleeping without it,” Calleigh said.
He shrugged. “I had a nap. And I don’t sleep well when I’m not at home anyway. It’s part of why I don’t like to travel. And you’re not asleep, either.”
“No, I meant at home. The other week, when you didn’t get to the drugstore to pick up the prescriptions and you were out of it. You didn’t sleep that night,” she reminded him.
“That was one night,” he said, with a shrug. “Andy thinks I’d be fine after the rebound. He’s not doing it yet, just sometime this summer.”
“Ok,” Calleigh said, but she couldn’t quite shake the feeling that it would be a bad idea. Maybe she was just thinking of how difficult it would be to share a room with an insomniac.
“We’re almost there,” he said. “And then we can go to bed and you can sleep.”
“Good,” she sighed.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“Why?” she asked, frowning.
He shrugged. “You don’t seem like you’re having a good time.”
“Oh, no, Tim. I’m fine. It’s just been a very long day. I’m tired, is all,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m having a good time, really. The restaurant was great. Your parents are really good cooks. And I like your parents a lot,” she assured him. “I’m just tired. And truthfully, a little overwhelmed,” she admitted.
“The weather?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she nodded. “I knew there’d be snow, but I didn’t expect…” she trailed off and shrugged.
“Yeah, I’m a bit overwhelmed too. It’s been a long, long time since I saw this much snow,” he admitted. “And I grew up with it, so you’d think I’d be used to it.”
“The drifts are so tall,” she said. “It’s like they’re closing in on you.”
He reached across and squeezed her hand. “I know. There’ll probably be less snow in Albany. A lot, still, probably, but less.”
She smiled wanly at him. “Thanks,” she said, glancing down at their hands. Tim rarely, if ever, touched her of his own accord. Is he doing this on purpose or…
“You’re welcome,” he said, letting go of her hand to take a sip of his soda.
They were quiet again. Tim watched out the window as they came up on a stop. She was soon lost in thought again.
He’s not doing it on purpose. I would swear not, she thought. It’s just Tim. He’s dense, Calleigh. He doesn’t realize what he’s doing. But what if he does. He’s dense, but he’s not stupid…
“Our stop will be next,” Tim said, suddenly, as the train pulled away from the station they’d just stopped at.
“How far is that?” she asked.
“Not too long, I don’t think. Half hour at the outside,” he shrugged.
“Should we go back, then?” she asked.
“Probably not a bad idea,” he agreed, standing up.
“All right, then,” she said, following him.
Timothy Daniel Speedle, she thought, If you don’t sort yourself out soon, I may have to clobber you. That, in truth, was what was bothering her. Either decide you like me or decide you don’t, but stop playing the middle. She had no idea why this was becoming so urgent to her. But her patience was really starting to wear thin.
Chapter 3
'Cause I like you so much
But I know you don't know it
I like you so much
I talk to everyone but you
And I wonder
What you would think of this little number
I wonder
What you would say if you knew
"Hell Yeah", Ani DiFranco
“Hi, hi!” Matt exclaimed wildly as he found them outside of the natatorium the next morning. “You’re here!” he said, grabbing Tim into a hug.
“We’re here,” Tim said, laughing.
“This is great!” Matt chattered, turning to hug a surprised Calleigh before hugging both his parents.
“Matt, come on,” one of his teammates yelled from the doorway.
“Ok, I gotta go. But I’ll see you!” he called, running off.
“No, he’s not excited at all,” Danny said, conversationally. “Lord. I hope he calms down enough to actually swim.”
“Maybe…” Tim started, but Danny interrupted him.
“Don’t even think it,” Danny said.
“Ok,” Tim shrugged.
“I’m serious, don’t even think it. I’d rather have him excited you’re here than swim well,” Danny said.
“I said ok,” Tim said, mildly.
“Let’s go find seats,” Melissa interrupted, herding them towards the doors.
“Yes, let’s,” Calleigh agreed. The natatorium promised to be warm and humid, which would be very welcome.
She felt better today. Tim had been right- there was less snow in Albany. Still more than she’d ever seen in her life prior to yesterday, but it seemed somewhat less like a place where summer never came. And she’d gotten some sleep, despite the fact that they hadn’t gotten to the hotel until 2am. Tim hadn’t really slept, she didn’t think, but he didn’t seem to be terribly bothered by that fact. Everyone was happy and excited and she couldn’t help but be swept up by it.
They got their tickets and their hands stamped and found a row of empty seats in what Danny and Melissa said would be a good vantage point. Calleigh wasn’t terribly familiar with swimming meets, so she was more than willing to trust their judgment.
“Wow,” Calleigh said, impressed. “This is quite an event.”
“Oh, yes,” Melissa said. “It’s the first year we’ve come to States, but we’ve been to the District meet three times now. Matt just barely missed swimming in States last year, but he came out with the team to watch.”
“He’s in two events?” Tim asked.
“Yup,” Danny said. “200 IM and 100 fly.”
“Which is the main event?” Calleigh said. “I remember you saying one of them was his main event, Tim.”
“200 IM, isn’t it?” Tim asked his dad.
“Right,” Danny replied. “He’s competitive in that one. He barely made the 100 fly, we were surprised. They’re two of the hardest sprint events, too.”
“Impressive,” Calleigh said. “No wonder he’s up for scholarships.”
Danny nodded. “It’s been pretty interesting. Completely different ball game from when we were getting you ready, Tim. Athletic scholarships are just strange things.”
“He’s been offered a couple of academic ones, too,” Melissa added. “But his test scores aren’t quite as good as yours were, Tim.”
“Well, nothing wrong with that,” Tim muttered, seeming slightly embarrassed.
“No, of course not,” Melissa agreed. “It would have been unreasonable to expect them to be. Matt’s done a very good job for himself.”
“What did you get on the SAT?” Calleigh asked him.
Tim shrugged. “A good score.”
“No, seriously,” she said.
He sighed. “It doesn’t matter anymore. That was like 15 years ago.”
“I know that,” Calleigh said. “I’m just curious. I got a 1320, what did you get?”
“More than that,” he shrugged.
“I know that. Come on, what was it?
“You might as well tell her, Tim,” Danny said, amusedly. “She’ll just keep pestering you, I bet.”
He sighed again. “1540”, he muttered.
Calleigh whistled. “A good score?” she asked. She would never cease to be amazed at Tim’s talent for understatement.
“It is a good score,” he said.
“It’s a near perfect score,” Calleigh pointed out.
“It would be a perfect score if you’d have taken it after 1995,” Danny said. “They re-centered the scores in 95, so both of your scores would have been higher. Unless I’m misjudging your age, Calleigh?”
“No, I took it in 1993,” she said, smiling. “I’m, what, 18 months younger than you?” she asked, turning towards Tim.
“20 months. End of February vs. end of June,” he corrected absently, watching the divers warm up in the dive pool.
She paused at the fact that he knew that off the top of his head. Well, they had just celebrated her birthday a week and a half ago. But still, it wasn’t information she would have expected him to know. Come to think, she hadn’t reminded him about her birthday at all. “Well, there you go then. 20 months.”
“So, you’ve been out of school for seven years,” Melissa said. “Have you been with CSI that long?”
“Oh, no,” Calleigh said. “I started out in patrol in New Orleans back in 97. They pulled me to Ballistics in 99, and Horatio came to steal me away about a year after that. So I’ve been in Miami for just about five years now. I love it, though. I love the city and I love this lab.”
“That’s great,” Danny said. “Don’t you guys have something like the best solve rate in the country?”
“Second best, yeah,” Tim said. “Unless that’s changed and no one told me.”
“No, it hasn’t changed,” Calleigh said. “I’d have told you if the solve rate dropped that much.”
He shrugged. “I figured, but you know.”
“Yeah,” she said. “Anyway, no, we’re number 2. And pretty pleased. Horatio isn’t too competitive about that, so long as we’re the best we can be.”
“He’d like to be number one, but if we’re number two behind Gil Grissom’s lab, then that’s plenty good enough. Besides, Vegas has a higher volume than we do,” Tim said.
“Speaking of Vegas, there’s a conference out west this fall that we’ve been kicking around the idea of going to,” Calleigh told him. “Horatio wanted me to ask if you were interested. He can send two of us. I want to go.”
“We’ll see,” Tim said. “I hate conferences.”
“I know, but you haven’t been to one in five years,” Calleigh reminded him. “Professional development, Tim.”
“I’m going to school. How much more development do they want?” he asked.
“Precisely. You’re doing plenty of research; you can submit a paper,” Calleigh said.
“Oooooh, no. No, no, nope. Absolutely not,” Tim said, shaking his head violently. “Uh-huh.”
“Oh, come on. I’m going to work something up to submit. You’ve written papers, Tim. I know you have,” Calleigh said. “You just don’t ever do anything with them.”
“I submitted that one about the weird film on the bullets from that Everglades case two years ago,” he protested. “It got accepted.”
“You’ve had a paper published?” Melissa asked. “You didn’t tell us that!”
He shrugged. “It wasn’t a big deal. I only did it because Megan made me.”
“But still, Tim, that’s a pretty good thing, to be published,” Danny pointed out.
“I guess. But it really wasn’t a big thing,” he said.
Calleigh sighed. She knew he wasn’t going to be persuaded from that stance. She also knew that he had enough material to write at least three other papers just from the last year or so. But Horatio hadn’t figured out how to convince Tim to actually write and submit anything. Megan had had a way of doing it that had worked, and that was apparently not a piece of information she had passed on to Horatio.
Suddenly, there was an announcer beginning the meet. Calleigh half-listened to the welcome message and stood automatically with everyone else for the National Anthem. It had gotten rather crowded in the natatorium while they’d been talking. She wasn’t the only one to notice.
They sat back down and she saw Tim looking a bit pale. “You ok?” she whispered to him. He nodded. “Ok,” she said, but she started looking around for the nearest exit. It was about to get very loud in here if she was any judge of sporting events. Swimmers were lining up at the edge of the pool.
“Which event is this?” she asked.
“200 Medley Relay,” Danny replied. “It’s the relay version of Matt’s event. His event is the one after the next one.”
Calleigh started to reply, but the starter’s gun went off. Tim really went pale then, and she felt, more than saw, his hands start shaking. “Tim,” she said, reaching out to touch his hands.
“I’m…” he swallowed. “I’ll be…sorry, excuse me,” he said, getting up and slipping past them to the end of the row and moving down to the exit.
“Is he ok?” Melissa asked.
“I don’t think so,” Calleigh said, standing up.
“I’ll come with you,” Danny said, following. “In case he wound up in the men’s room.”
They fought their way through the crowd and out into the lobby, which was considerably cooler and less crowded. It was quieter, too. They looked around for Tim, but didn’t see him. “I’ll check outside, you check the bathroom?” Calleigh said, looking at Danny.
“Sounds good. Meet back here,” he said, moving down the corridor towards the restrooms.
Calleigh walked outside and looked around briefly. It was very cold and she’d left her coat in the natatorium. So had Tim, she remembered quickly, so she doubted he would have gone far outside. She didn’t see him, so she went back into the lobby and waited.
Tim and Danny appeared a few minutes later. “Sorry,” Tim said sheepishly.
“No, it’s ok,” she said. “Are you all right?”
“I don’t, yeah, maybe,” he said. He was shaking, still.
“Do you have your cell phone?” Danny asked.
“Yeah,” Tim said.
“Ok, how about this. You two stay out here and get something to drink. I’ll call you when the girls start the 200 IM- it’s the girls’ heats first, then the boys. You’ll have plenty of time to get back to the seats by the time Matt’s up, he’s in the last boys’ heat. That way you can see Matt swim, but you don’t have to stay in there the whole time,” Danny said.
“That’ll work,” Calleigh said, decisively. Tim shrugged, obviously willing to defer to their judgment at this point.
“Ok, then. It’ll probably be about half an hour or so,” Danny said. “I’ll see you then.”
“Sounds good,” Calleigh said. Danny went back into the natatorium. She steered Tim to the concession stand where she bought them both a bottle of water and then steered him down the hallway where she saw an out of the way looking staircase. They sat on the stairs. “Do you have any Ativan?” she asked.
He pulled his keys out of his pocket and unscrewed the pill fob attached to them. “Yeah.”
“Here,” she said, reaching out to take one of the pills and break it in half. “Try a half, first.” He downed the pill with a gulp of water. “Good,” she said, moving to sit behind him on the steps so they weren’t completely blocking any traffic. She rubbed his shoulders gently as he rested his head on his knees. They didn’t talk. There was nothing to say.
“Is he ok?” A woman who appeared to be a coach asked as she started to walk up the stairs.
“He’s fine,” Calleigh said, smiling. “Just got a bit crowded in there, is all. Thank you for asking.”
“It can be a bit claustrophobic,” the woman said, sympathetically. “Spectators will kind of start drifting away as the events go on, though. It’s so hot in there that people just don’t want to sit through the whole thing, so they stay until their kid competes and then leave or they wait until later to show up, if they’ve got a pretty good idea of the timing. So it might be better later on.”
“That’s good to know,” Calleigh said. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Have a good one,” the woman said as she continued up the stairs.
Tim’s cell phone rang shortly after that. “You ready to make your way back in there?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he said. He looked a bit better. Pale, still, but determined.
“Ok, then,” she said.
They found their way to their seats without much trouble.
“Are you all right?” Melissa asked, looking at Tim anxiously.
“Yeah,” Tim said.
“Ok,” Melissa said, squeezing his arm. “Matt’s heat is two heats away,” she said.
Calleigh reached over and grabbed his hand. “Just hang on tight when the gun goes off. I’m right here.”
He nodded, and clutched her hand fitfully, but made it through the next two starts.
“There’s Matt!” Melissa said pointing down at the swimmers. “Lane 3.”
“That’s a good lane,” Danny explained. “You want to be toward the middle, not on the ends. Less of a wake to fight through.”
Calleigh held tightly to Tim’s hand as the gun went off. They stood and yelled for Matt along with Danny and Melissa. She was glad to see him yelling as hard as anyone.
“Go, kid, go!” Danny yelled. “I don’t…Oh, my God, look!” he said, pointing at the scoreboard as Matt slammed into the wall. “Second!”
“Yay, Matthew!” Melissa yelled. Matt was dragging himself out of the pool, but he turned to look up to try and see them. He waved at them, after a moment.
“Come on!” Danny said, grabbing Tim’s arm. “Let’s go down and see if we can catch him on his way back to the waiting area. And then we’ll get you something to eat,” he said, leading Tim back out.
“That’s a good idea,” Melissa said. “Matt won’t swim again until later this afternoon. We’ll stay here and save the seats and trade off with Danny after awhile.”
“Sounds good,” Calleigh said. “I’d like to see more of the events.”
“Well, there’ll be some diving coming up next,” she said. “Two dive events, and then back to the swimming until intermission.”
“Oh, fun,” Calleigh said. “I love watching the diving in the Olympics.”
“Me too,” Melissa said. “I used to dive in high school, so it’s one of my favorite parts of these things. Is Tim really ok?” she asked.
Calleigh nodded. “Yeah. It’s loud and crowded in here, and he’s been spoiling for a panic attack since we got on the plane yesterday. It wasn’t too bad. He just got overwhelmed in here.”
“Poor kid. He’s never done well in places like this. He used to cry when we took him grocery shopping on the weekend. Just too much going on around him all at once,” she sighed. “It’s probably better to keep him out there for the most part.”
“Definitely,” Calleigh said.
They watched the diving, cheering for the divers from schools Melissa was familiar with. Then it was back to the swimming. No one Melissa was familiar with was in the next event, so their attention wandered a bit.
“Can I say something I probably shouldn’t?” Melissa asked.
Calleigh shrugged. “I guess.”
“You can tell me to go to hell, if you like, and you’d be within your rights, because I really shouldn’t interfere, but it seems pretty clear to me that you like my son a lot,” she said, slowly.
Calleigh blushed. “Is it that obvious?”
Melissa shrugged. “Why else would you come to Syracuse in March? It’s not our best month.”
Calleigh laughed. “I suppose not.”
“Let me tell you something then. He likes you, Calleigh, but you’re going to have to be the one who makes the move. He’s not going to do it. I don’t exactly know why that is, but I know Timothy is a lot like Daniel, and I had to smash Daniel over the head with a sledgehammer to get him to pay attention. They’re incredible guys, but they’re also incredibly dense. Or scared. I’ve never been able to decide which it is,” Melissa said.
“Both, I think,” Calleigh sighed.
“Probably,” Melissa said.
Calleigh was quiet for a moment. Melissa was right on both counts. It really wasn’t her business, but Calleigh was definitely going to have to make the first move. “I don’t suppose you’d tell me how you got Danny to pay attention,” she said, raising an eyebrow at Melissa.
Melissa laughed. “Oh, honey, I just pushed him against the counter and kissed the daylights out of him.”
“Really?” Calleigh laughed.
“Really,” Melissa nodded. “Tim was about 18 months old, and I’d been hinting around for probably two or three months. One night we got him off to bed and I stayed over to help clean up the kitchen- I wasn’t living with them yet, I just came over during the day to watch Tim while Danny was at the restaurant. Well, we were just finishing up the dishes and we’d been sort of half-flirting, half just being goofy, and I realized suddenly that he wasn’t going to go anywhere with it, and if I wanted it, I should just go for it. So I pinned him against the kitchen counter and planted one on him.”
“What did Danny do?” she asked, wide-eyed.
“Oh, he took over and we wound up on the living room floor trying to be quiet so we didn’t wake the baby,” Melissa grinned. “Probably more than you wanted to know.”
Calleigh laughed. “It’s ok. But he just went with it, just like that?”
Melissa nodded. “Just like that. I don’t know if that approach will really work that well with Tim, though. You have to remember, Danny and I were about 20. We were just babies ourselves, and well, when you’re 20, you kind of just expect to fall into things and they’ll work out. You guys know more than we did. Plus, Tim’s been burned somewhere along the line. I have no idea what happened there, because anything I know is from Marianne, and I’m willing to bet she got it from Sean, so it’s all third-hand or more, but I’m guessing something went very badly wrong for him in the romance department at some point. Danny was hurt by Marianne, but it was really clear that they’d made the best decision they could, and that helped a lot, I think. Tim’s going to require a bit more convincing, I think. Although, he might just surprise you. Stranger things have been known to happen.”
“True,” Calleigh said. “I’m betting it’ll be a lot of convincing.”
“Probably. But you can do it, I’m sure. I see how he looks at you when he thinks you’re not watching,” Melissa said.
Calleigh nodded. She’d noticed that too, but hadn’t been able to figure out what he meant by it. It was one of the many little things she’d noticed that she couldn’t make heads or tails of. “Hmm.”
“Well, in case there was any doubt, you have mine and Danny’s complete blessing. Go make yourselves happy,” Melissa said.
“Is this where you tell me if I hurt him, you’ll kill me?” Calleigh asked, wryly.
“No, this is where I tell you that if he hurts you, I’ll kill him,” Melissa said. “He’s a lot more likely to hurt you without even realizing he’s doing it than you are to hurt him, I think.”
“This is probably true,” Calleigh sighed.
“Stop letting him do that,” Melissa advised. “You need to tell him when he’s doing it, because he has no clue. It’s not that he means to be hurtful…”
“It’s just that he has really rather flaky communication skills,” Calleigh finished. “Oh, I know.”
“I’m sure you do. But don’t let him get away with it. He can be taught. There just hasn’t been anyone willing to do the teaching,” Melissa said. “I won’t lie to you. My boy is a hard one to deal with and your sanity is probably questionable. If I didn’t see how you looked at him when he wasn’t watching, I’d have told him to give it up for a bad cause by now, because I really wouldn’t want to inflict him on someone who wasn’t willing to fight for it.”
Calleigh laughed. “Thanks. I think.”
Melissa grinned. “Well, it takes two.”
“It certainly does,” Calleigh said, smiling. “Thanks. Really.”
“You’re welcome. And you’re welcome to call me when he’s being infuriating, if you like.”
“I’ll keep it in mind,” Calleigh said.
“Good,” Melissa said. “Oh, good, intermission. I’m hungry.”
“Yeah,” Calleigh said. “Should someone wait with the coats?”
“Nah, bring them with us. We’ll find seats again when we get back. I’d like to leave altogether for lunch. The concession stand is not my idea of proper food. Intermission is a half hour, and then Matt is four events after that, so we’ve got time to spare,” Melissa said. “Let’s go find the boys.”
“Ok,” Calleigh said, as she gathered up Tim’s coat and followed Melissa. She certainly had enough to think about now. Just take him by surprise, huh? Hmmm…. she thought.
Chapter 4
AN: This takes place sometime not terribly long after the end of Engraved Invitations...
Oh I've got reservations
About so many things
But not about you
“Reservations”, Wilco
They found themselves later that night in a tangle in the middle of the bed. She didn’t want to let go. He didn’t seem to mind.
“You ok?” she asked, softly.
“Mm-hm,” he said. “You?”
“I’m great,” she said, smiling a bit.
“It was ok?” he asked, shifting a bit so he could see her face.
“It was plenty ok. More than ok,” she said, nodding.
“Yeah?” he asked.
“Didn’t you think so?” she asked, raising her eyebrows at him.
“Well, yeah, but…”
“No buts. It was good, Tim,” she said firmly.
“Ok,” he said, subsiding. “Um, now what happens?”
“Well,” she sighed. “I have to go to work tomorrow. Later today, that is,” she said, catching sight of the alarm clock on the night stand. “But then…”
“But then, maybe I can…I don’t know, take you out?” Tim said, tentatively.
She laughed. “You’re going in the reverse order. It’s supposed to be dinner, then bed.”
“Who said there wouldn’t be bed afterwards?” he said, quirking an eyebrow in her direction.
“True,” she said, happily. His sense of humor had obviously finally come to his rescue. She was glad- Tim was so much more fun to be around when his sense of humor was intact. “So, yes, you can take me out after work tomorrow. Today.”
“All right, then,” he said. “We’ll do that.” He was quiet for a long moment. “Cal?” he asked.
“Yes?” she replied.
“Um, were you…are you…do you…I mean, are we going to…I don’t know, tell people?” he asked.
She paused. Tim was such an intensely private person that she had a feeling that he would rather they not tell anyone about this. But while she didn’t tend to parade her own private life around, she didn’t want this to be a secret, either. “Well,” she said, slowly. “What did you think?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I mean, I have to tell Alexx. She’d kill me if she found out somehow and it wasn’t me that told her. But I don’t know the rules about this thing- I don’t mind telling H or anything, but I don’t want to put him in a bad position if he knows, either…”
“No, it’s fine. There’s no regulation about relationships, really, unless it’s a superior and a subordinate situation. We’re the same grade, so it doesn’t matter, unless we’re inappropriate at work, which I don’t really see happening,” Calleigh said. “Besides, it’s up to our superior’s discretion, and I don’t really see Horatio having an issue with this. Hell, he’s probably going to be thrilled.”
“You think?” Tim asked.
She nodded. “Two of his favorite people being happy? That’s the sort of stuff Horatio lives for.”
“True,” Tim admitted. “Ok, then. I don’t want to make a thing about it, but I don’t really like the idea of sneaking around, either.”
“Good. I don’t either. We don’t have to make an announcement or anything. We can let people figure it out on their own. But I will tell Horatio,” she said.
“And you’re ok if I tell Alexx?” he asked.
She laughed. “I expected you would whether we were keeping it a secret or not.”
“Oh,” he said.
“It’s ok, Tim. She’s one of your Moms, after all,” she said.
He laughed a little at that. “Yes, yes she is.” He pulled her closer. “I’m glad you helped me out.”
“I’m glad, too,” she said, leaning her head against his chest. She took a deep breath, just inhaling his scent. It was lab chemicals and soap, aftershave and baby shampoo (“it’s cheap and it doesn’t hurt my eyes”), and all very uniquely Tim. It made her feel safe all of a sudden.
“I’m sorry it took so long,” he said.
“No, don’t,” she said, drowsily. “I mean, yeah, it would have been nice to have sorted this all out sooner, but realistically, you couldn’t have.”
“Still…”
“It happened the way it did. We can’t change it now,” she said. “And who knows? Maybe we’ll be glad this is how it happened in the long run. Quit beating yourself up and go to sleep, Tim,” she yawned.
“Ok,” he yawned. “Wake me when you go?”
“Of course,” she said. “Possibly in a nicer way than I usually do.”
“Mm, that could be nice,” he said. “Ok. Going to sleep now.”
“Yes, sleep,” she said, closing her eyes and smiling. Yes, I think this is going to work out just fine, now….