(no subject)
Nov. 5th, 2016 08:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
miss_lucy21No idea what I talked about last. So, okay.
- I am...not okay. Not horrible, but not great. And so therefore, my PDoc bumped up the Prozac, because she said what I was telling her sounded more like depression related than ADHD related. I have been having trouble eating, etc. And exhausted. And not terribly interested in much of anything, with the notable exception of playoff baseball, because my team was in it for the first time in 20 years. I react well to the Prozac, and have never been on a dose past 40, so moving to 60mg is a reasonable first step. She didn't want to play with the Wellbutrin because I'm already super anxious because well, things suck right now. Upping the Wellbutrin would probably not help with the anxiety. And she doesn't want to bump up the Intuniv, because it sounds more depression related than ADHD related, so that probably wouldn't help (there's room to go up one more step on it, if it turns out to be necessary).
- And she referred me to therapy. I said I was willing to explore it. It's not been useful in the past, but I think I understand enough about what was problematic about my previous attempts to be able to articulate what I can and can't handle. Plus, this practice specialises in ADHD in adults, among other things, so if nothing else, no one's going to tell me my executive functioning issues are nothing. I don't have the intake appointment until mid-November. I'm trying to pull together some sense of what I want to do here.
- I did do a group therapy/class thing that the practice recommends for adults with ADHD. It was all right, but there wasn't anything discussed I either haven't been doing for the past 20 years (like, have a planner. That got drilled into me in middle school) or have tried extensively and determined it does not work for me (like, rigid scheduling. Cannot do it). Some of the stuff discussed was clearly new to other people in the group, so I believe them when they say it can be helpful, but the mechanics are not my problem. Plus, I kind of question putting someone with pretty intense social anxiety in a group setting, because that part did not go that well.
- I had to do the obnoxious health screening for my insurance. I hate this thing, but it takes $500 off my insurance premium and I don't make enough money for skipping it to be a viable option. Plus, you have to do it in order to get the wellness funds and I'm also not leaving $1000 on the table, either. But oh my God, it is such a pain in the ass. Particularly since I was Not In The Mood, and so therefore, my blood pressure was higher than it usually is, which led to lecture part one, and then somehow or another my fasting blood sugar was 101. Which is now two points above the normal range. And *that* led to additional concern trolling. I am not concerned. It was less than 12 hours fasting, I hadn't really eaten dinner the night before so I had a banana at midnight when I realized I needed to eat right then in order to make the window before the appointment. Which means what likely happened is that my blood sugar went too low and my liver fixed it. Now, if it was above 120, I would have been concerned. But not for something that barely hit the elevated range. But yeah, with how I've been feeling lately, I really, really did not need to deal with that.
- So yes, life sucks, I am tired, and also tired of being tired. But at least I'm trying to work on it?
- I am...not okay. Not horrible, but not great. And so therefore, my PDoc bumped up the Prozac, because she said what I was telling her sounded more like depression related than ADHD related. I have been having trouble eating, etc. And exhausted. And not terribly interested in much of anything, with the notable exception of playoff baseball, because my team was in it for the first time in 20 years. I react well to the Prozac, and have never been on a dose past 40, so moving to 60mg is a reasonable first step. She didn't want to play with the Wellbutrin because I'm already super anxious because well, things suck right now. Upping the Wellbutrin would probably not help with the anxiety. And she doesn't want to bump up the Intuniv, because it sounds more depression related than ADHD related, so that probably wouldn't help (there's room to go up one more step on it, if it turns out to be necessary).
- And she referred me to therapy. I said I was willing to explore it. It's not been useful in the past, but I think I understand enough about what was problematic about my previous attempts to be able to articulate what I can and can't handle. Plus, this practice specialises in ADHD in adults, among other things, so if nothing else, no one's going to tell me my executive functioning issues are nothing. I don't have the intake appointment until mid-November. I'm trying to pull together some sense of what I want to do here.
- I did do a group therapy/class thing that the practice recommends for adults with ADHD. It was all right, but there wasn't anything discussed I either haven't been doing for the past 20 years (like, have a planner. That got drilled into me in middle school) or have tried extensively and determined it does not work for me (like, rigid scheduling. Cannot do it). Some of the stuff discussed was clearly new to other people in the group, so I believe them when they say it can be helpful, but the mechanics are not my problem. Plus, I kind of question putting someone with pretty intense social anxiety in a group setting, because that part did not go that well.
- I had to do the obnoxious health screening for my insurance. I hate this thing, but it takes $500 off my insurance premium and I don't make enough money for skipping it to be a viable option. Plus, you have to do it in order to get the wellness funds and I'm also not leaving $1000 on the table, either. But oh my God, it is such a pain in the ass. Particularly since I was Not In The Mood, and so therefore, my blood pressure was higher than it usually is, which led to lecture part one, and then somehow or another my fasting blood sugar was 101. Which is now two points above the normal range. And *that* led to additional concern trolling. I am not concerned. It was less than 12 hours fasting, I hadn't really eaten dinner the night before so I had a banana at midnight when I realized I needed to eat right then in order to make the window before the appointment. Which means what likely happened is that my blood sugar went too low and my liver fixed it. Now, if it was above 120, I would have been concerned. But not for something that barely hit the elevated range. But yeah, with how I've been feeling lately, I really, really did not need to deal with that.
- So yes, life sucks, I am tired, and also tired of being tired. But at least I'm trying to work on it?