NaNo #20 Things G Trusts Sam With, #3 (NCIS:LA)

[miss_lucy21]

G had what Sam thought of as his "chewed out" face when he left Hetty's office. Sam hadn't witnessed the chewing out, but he was sure G had stood there and just let Vance and Hetty both yell at him for letting Walton Flynn slip away. That was just what G did; let it roll right off him while you yelled.

Not that Sam blamed Vance or Hetty for giving G what-for. He knew G had understood Flynn better than the rest of them, but still, he'd basically disobeyed orders. Sam knew better than to say anything right now. G'd taken his lumps and he didn't need more from Sam. But Sam did need to make sure his partner was all right; having people speculate all day about the damage that foster care might have caused Flynn and his reasons for joining the Marines had probably hit a little close to home.

"You good?" he asked as G flopped down on the couch.

"Fine," G said shortly.

"You going to stay here tonight?" Sam asked.

"Yes," G said.

"Ok," Sam said. It was late, no one was around. And it wasn't like G didn't sleep here 4 nights out of 7. But G seemed...off. "Why'd you let Flynn go?" he asked, sitting down on the couch.

G groaned. "I already got this lecture. Twice."

"I'm not lecturing," Sam said. When G rolled his eyes, he insisted, "I'm not. I just want to know why you did it."

"They were going to put him in witness protection. He could do it better himself," G said.

"What about his testimony?" Sam asked.

"They don't really need it to make the case. There's plenty of evidence," G replied.

Sam had to concede that point. They had Caldwell dead to rights without Flynn's testimony, but it probably would strengthen the case, even a little. "You sympathized with him, didn't you."

G glared at him. "Quit channeling Nate."

"I'm not. I'm just trying to understand this," Sam said.

"Don't" G said, sharply.

"Don't what?" Sam asked.

"Don't try to understand," G said. He looked angry now, which confused Sam.

"Why not?" Sam asked.

"Just how selfish do you think I am?" G demanded, which confused Sam even more. Before he could ask what G meant, G continued. "You think I *want* you to understand this stuff? That I want you to understand why Flynn can take care of himself better than witness protection can take care of him?"

"G..." Sam started, but trailed off. They seemed to be talking about two different things, but G's train of thought might be the more important. At any rate, he clearly had something he needed to say.

"I don't want you to understand," G said. "I don't want you to understand not having your mom or your dad or your brothers or your grandma or where you grew up. I don't want you to understand what it's like to move from place to place to place with your stuff in a trash bag- if you get to take it with you at all." His voice was getting harsher and louder as he continued. "I don't want you to understand going to 15 schools before you're even in 8th grade. I don't want you to understand getting passed from social worker to social worker and never knowing whether they're paying any attention to what's happening to you and whether if you call them they'll come. I don't want you to understand what happens when there's a clerical error and you get put in a group home with kids who've been arrested for violent and sex offenses when you're 13 and you…" he stopped abruptly, as though he suddenly realized what words were coming out of his mouth.

Sam sat very still as G closed his eyes and swallowed hard before taking a deep breath and saying "Can we forget I said that? The last part, anyway."

"Yeah," Sam said, softly. "No questions."

"Good," G said. "Good." He opened his eyes and looked up at Sam. "But do you get it? I'm *glad* you don't understand- that none of you understand- because that means it didn't happen to you."

"Yeah, I get it," Sam said. "I don't think you're selfish, you know."

G quirked a smile. "Thanks." He scrubbed a hand over his face. "Long day."

"Yeah, it was," Sam said. "You want me to go so you can take a nap?" He had a feeling G needed to be alone for a little while after that outburst.

"I notice you didn't say so I could go to bed," G said, smirking a little.

"Nah. I know better," Sam said, standing up. "You good? For real?"

"Yeah," G said. "I'm fine. Really."

"Ok," Sam said, reaching down to squeeze G's shoulder. "'You nap and I'll see you in the morning, ok?"

"Yeah. Thanks," G said, stretching out on the couch. Sam nodded, grabbed his bag and walked out of Ops, trying to put that conversation out of his mind. He'd promised to forget what G said, and while he knew he wouldn't really forget, he could at least be trusted to honor his partner's wishes and not ask.