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miss_lucy21So I started a new temp job late this week*, and it really wasn’t a huge rearrangement of my schedule in terms of what I was doing all day (sitting in front of a computer combined with occasional walks around to do things) or really even the getting up at a certain time part (although it was in terms of having to be dressed and made up and ready to leave the house). But I was completely exhausted when I got home yesterday evening and when I fell into bed, I was out like a light almost immediately, which never happens. And then when I woke up this morning around 9:45ish, I was still so tired. Seriously, if I hadn’t needed the bathroom and if I hadn’t been hungry, I probably could have slept another couple of hours, no problem. And I couldn’t figure this out- I didn’t do anything the past couple of days- I hadn’t even been to the gym.
And then it hit me. Yes, actually, I did do something the past couple of days. I went to a brand new place, with lots of brand new people, where I had to wear clothing and makeup that conforms to Acceptable Adult Professional Standards. Where I did not know the routine, where I was asked to fit into other people’s expectations when I did not have a clear idea of what those expectations were yet. Where I had the additional stress of not having the equipment I need to do my job, so I was basically mostly useless, when everyone had all sorts of things they’d been hoping I could help out with (no one was upset by this, thankfully). And where I had to be “on”, and pay attention (or at least look like I was paying attention) and police my body languages and expressions to be more Standard Competent Adult.
And that, folks, is exhausting. It will be worth it (although I do wish I didn’t have to conform so much, that just being myself was enough), particularly if this turns out to be a permanent gig, and I’ll get used to it in a little while and not have to concentrate so much on it, but until that point, I should probably cut myself a break, no?
*Not to be too, too, excited yet. It's a 3 month assignment (although I'm not assured of all three months. If I screw up, I could be gone immediately). But there's a possibility of permanence, and it's money, even if not.
And then it hit me. Yes, actually, I did do something the past couple of days. I went to a brand new place, with lots of brand new people, where I had to wear clothing and makeup that conforms to Acceptable Adult Professional Standards. Where I did not know the routine, where I was asked to fit into other people’s expectations when I did not have a clear idea of what those expectations were yet. Where I had the additional stress of not having the equipment I need to do my job, so I was basically mostly useless, when everyone had all sorts of things they’d been hoping I could help out with (no one was upset by this, thankfully). And where I had to be “on”, and pay attention (or at least look like I was paying attention) and police my body languages and expressions to be more Standard Competent Adult.
And that, folks, is exhausting. It will be worth it (although I do wish I didn’t have to conform so much, that just being myself was enough), particularly if this turns out to be a permanent gig, and I’ll get used to it in a little while and not have to concentrate so much on it, but until that point, I should probably cut myself a break, no?
*Not to be too, too, excited yet. It's a 3 month assignment (although I'm not assured of all three months. If I screw up, I could be gone immediately). But there's a possibility of permanence, and it's money, even if not.