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Sep. 13th, 2013 07:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
miss_lucy2195% of the time, I'm mostly indistinguishable from a person with normal lung functioning. I take a fair amount of medication to make that happen (although I'm on the very lowest dose of my main medication, which is a major triumph- at one point, I was on the highest dosage and still running into trouble), but for the most part, I have near normal function and it's not a big deal. Yes, I get out of breath on stairs more than most people (this is not dependent on my fitness level. Apparently climbing stairs is one of the most challenging cardiovascular tasks we ask our bodies to do on a regular basis, according to a personal trainer I know), and I get breathless outside when it's very cold or very humid, but it's not super noticeable most of the time.
But then there's that 5% of the time where my body decides to say, "oh, hey, remember that you've got a chronic incurable disease that can kill you". Like, today, when I was driving to work and all of a sudden I realized I couldn't catch my breath. I wasn't wheezing- it was more like how it feels like when you've been running, except, obviously, I hadn't been running. And I was an idiot who had transferred stuff from her everyday bag to a different bag and then not transferred all of it back, and of course one of the items that didn't get transferred back was my inhaler. So I turned around and went home (and of course I was about 3/4th of the way to work). I'm fine- a couple of doses of my inhaler and some sleep and I'm pretty much breathing fine now, although I'll have to be careful for a couple days. But I get very twitchy when I have to call off work, particularly on a Friday or a Monday. I've had to resign before I've been fired from a job before due to absenteeism, because I was having health issues. I'm kind of terrified it'll happen again. That, of course, doesn't help.
So, yes, not my bestest day ever. I kind of hate my body sometimes.
But then there's that 5% of the time where my body decides to say, "oh, hey, remember that you've got a chronic incurable disease that can kill you". Like, today, when I was driving to work and all of a sudden I realized I couldn't catch my breath. I wasn't wheezing- it was more like how it feels like when you've been running, except, obviously, I hadn't been running. And I was an idiot who had transferred stuff from her everyday bag to a different bag and then not transferred all of it back, and of course one of the items that didn't get transferred back was my inhaler. So I turned around and went home (and of course I was about 3/4th of the way to work). I'm fine- a couple of doses of my inhaler and some sleep and I'm pretty much breathing fine now, although I'll have to be careful for a couple days. But I get very twitchy when I have to call off work, particularly on a Friday or a Monday. I've had to resign before I've been fired from a job before due to absenteeism, because I was having health issues. I'm kind of terrified it'll happen again. That, of course, doesn't help.
So, yes, not my bestest day ever. I kind of hate my body sometimes.