Fantastic

[miss_lucy21]

I've now thrown out my back/hip. Complete with irritated sciatic nerve. Urgent care was thankfully helpful with a script for a muscle relaxant (my muscles are entirely locked up on the right side right now) and for Neurotin, which is good for nerve pain. Fortunately, Neurotin doesn't knock me out (I've been on it before, when I had shingles in 2011, and I was tired, but functional for the 6 weeks I was on it) so I can take it during the day. The problem with the script they gave me was it's only for once a day and it wears off at about the 7-8 hour mark, which doesn't exactly cover my entire day (if I take it when I get up at 6ish or earlier, then it would wear off around 1 or 2 pm, which is only about 2/3rds of the way through my work day, and barely halfway through my total day, since I have evening commitments until 7-8 most nights). So, I'll be calling my doctor on Monday to see if I can take it more often and get a script reflecting that.

I am especially irritated about this because I was supposed to go to Cleveland tonight to see my best friend and his family for the weekend, but I can barely stand up right now, let alone drive three hours. Hopefully we'll be able to reschedule for next weekend or the one after, but still, unhappy.

And then, in messing about with the budget for getting a new car, it's becoming pretty clear that I'm going to have to lower my housing expenses in order to make everything work. Which prices me out of several areas I was interested in. I am trying very, very hard to not be angry and bitter about this car thing. Yes, it is a major sacrifice on my part, but it's kind of the least I can do for my parents, since they have basically sheltered and fed me and made sure I could afford my medication for 2 years. So, the fact that I'm unhappy and irritated about having to get a new car feels really ungrateful. And probably is really ungrateful. Which, really, I'm not. I'm just...unhappy about the situation.

So, yes, I'm really ready for October to end. Not that I expect November will be better, but it'll be different, maybe? I don't know.

Comments

[antongarou]

So, the fact that I'm unhappy and irritated about having to get a new car feels really ungrateful. And probably is really ungrateful.

IMHO it isn't ungratefull to be iritated: From what I can tell you aren't saying "I desrve their car" but "I wish I didn't have to budget for a car" and/or "I wish I could afford a car and living in [area X]" - these are very different things.

[miss_lucy21]

True, that is what I'm saying. And I was making payments on the car- partial ones while I was in school and the full payment for most of this year. I suspect what's really irritating me is that I was very close to paying it off (I had about $2500 to go, which I could have done in a couple months if I wanted to buckle down on it). But really, I need to just let it go and adjust to this new reality. I just usually need to whine a bit before I can do that :o) Change is not one of my strong suits.